Madelynn's Heart 4

Have you ever seen the movie Finding Nemo?

There is a scene where a group of sea life living in a tank are trying to escape by mucking up the tank and the owner of the tank was to clean the tank and they could make there escape. The starfish wakes up and shouts..."Today's the day, today's the day, the sun is shining, the tank is clean"......the excitement of the day just just turned to dread.

This is the way I felt the morning I woke up in the hospital with Madelynn. It was a beautiful bright morning but I was in a not so happy place and I was going to have to sit in a waiting room for a six hour open heart on my child to take place.

My only saving grace was that I was not alone.........Phil, his mom, his sister, and my parents were all there. Something else in this waiting room was computers to surf the web. I first scanned the web about Madelynn's condition. I read as much as I could until it became too much. except for the bathroom I never left this room.

This was where we would get periodic updates during the surgery. The first one was that Madelynn was ready and the surgery was starting. The second one was to say that when they opened her up their were no surprises. Everything they had studied on her echo the night before was exactly what they found when they opened her up. The third was to tell us they were almost done.

By this point we were all a little stir crazy and the scene turned silly. Six of us were sitting in this cramped little area by choice and texted each other. My dad learned to text that day, my brother and sister from Ohio and Michigan joined in. It was a great comic relief. The next thing I knew the surgeon was standing in the entry way to this cramped little room.

Madelynn did great and there were no surprises. The surgeon was VERY excited at how well everything went. The next 48 hours would be crucial to see how her body reacts to the shock of the proper blood flow she has been without for a little over two months. We would be able to see her soon.

There was a feeling of relief that overcame the space we were in. I was ready to jump out of my skin. I just wanted to see my baby girl. I was so not ready for what I would see................

She was in this old school crib and she had tubes everywhere. She was on a ventilator, had a chest tube, wires hooked to her heart, an arterial line in one arm measuring her blood pressure, IV in the other hand and in her foot and her chest was cut completely open and was now covered in stitches. Her rib cage was split and wired back together. For the rest of her life she will set a metal detector off.

I was afraid to touch her. I just sat back and watched. If it wasn't for Phil I would have just sat there not eating just watching the monitors tick away. I was so afraid. I knew the doctor said the surgery went well but my baby was buried under all of these wire and tubes. Madelynn did suffer some mild complications over the next 24 hours and each time they were able to stabilizer her.

As we have come to the one year anniversary of this faithful day I have a different view. Madelynn has recovered very well. My hope is that one day this will just be a part of history. Her complications she suffered sometimes seemed endless. Each time I thought Lord I just can not do this anymore. I have cried more tears in one year then probably the other 36 years of my life.

However I am not sad anymore. I have a new perspective on life and I am happier then I have ever been. Tonight we will have a celebration in honor of Madelynn's journey. It is not just about Madelynn, it is a celebration for life and the road we travelled as a family. There are so many people we would have never made it without. We want to Thank them, let them see Madelynn today and make sure they realize however large or small the role we would have never made it without all of the help.

So tonight as we share a meal with our friends and family the hope is that we just have fun and laugh. These moments were sometimes non-existed in our journey and we would like to make up for a few of them. Attached is the photo I posted 24 hours after Madelynn's surgery and a current picture of Madelynn that I just know will make you smile, compliments of Grandpa Bacho.