For Justy.....

Over 25 years ago I would be walking into high school to give my very best friend a little something for her birthday. We met the first day of school our freshman year. Our first two classes were the same, our last names both began with B with the alphabetical order seating we were always sitting next two each other. It was always part of God's plan we cross paths.

She helped me get my first job and we worked at the same place for awhile. We went to school dances together, double dated for prom and spent many late nights at Denny's. Some of my favorite memories were the very late night laughs in Denny's. We were college roommates for almost two years. Suddenly everything in life changed.

She joined the Navy and I found myself lost in my life slowly spinning out of control. She found this plan for her life and seemed truly happy with her choices. I worked two full time jobs lived in an apartment and had no idea what I wanted in life. It always made my heart leap when I received a letter or call from across the states or the world.

Last week I turned the same ridiculous age, she turns today. Did I mention our birthdays are a week apart. Something else that always makes me smile.

For many years our friendship lived solely by phone calls. One day I decided that was not enough. She is like my sister. Just like my sister I make the time to see her every year. Some visits were not planned and included lots of tears. However there is no place I would rather be. Some laughter was so much it also brought tears.

If I had my choice I would be sitting with her in her back yard watching our children play and just revelling in the moment that 25+ years has brought us to. Something I was able to do this past November.

To my friend, my hero and confidant......I love you like my sister......My life would not be complete without you.....Thank you for all the memories. I hope as you celebrate your birthday today you know I am with you in spirit and surrounded by love.

Happy Birthday!!! Love, Miss and See you soon.

TTFN~

Focus on what is important......

"Life is like a camera, focus on what’s important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don’t work out, take another shot."

 

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind. I remember cub scouts, basketball, girl scouts, work, meetings, appointments but no blogging. Somewhere in there I think I slept but today it doesn't feel like it.

Most of all I am trying to stay focused on what it is important, my children and family. Today was a day off for Katie and Jack (teacher workday). Maddie was so mad she had to go to school. To make her feel better we had homemade sno cones after school. Not sure what I was thinking making sno cones in the middle of January but the were very excited. I truly had no idea, when I received this sno cone maker, the joy it was bring.

I came across the above quote and it struck a cord. There are some things that I will not post here that recently has really taken a toll on all of us. Trying to keep the balance in life hoping the kids don't notice the additional stress. Thank God for the sno cone machine. So as today comes to a close I am thankful we captured a few memories. For the things bringing us down tomorrow is our new shot.

TTFN~

 

 

 

Dinner with the girls.....

This week one of my friends celebrated her 40th Birthday. She was totally spoiled this week. Her husband cooked her favorite dinner, she said it was FABULOUS!! Some of our friends surprised her at work with flowers and sweet treats!!

Right before Christmas my friend was robbed. It has been an emotional roller coaster since then for her entire family. It broke my heart when she asked me how can I convince my daughter she is safe when I don't believe it myself. My friend had a rough 2012 and this was the final straw. I just wish there was more I could do for her. I wish I could be Jeanie and blink my eyes and nod my head and make it all go away.

Since that was/is not possible, tonight we had a girls night. We went to a restaurant my friend had never been to. It was great no screaming kids, nothing to worry about just enjoying time with my friends. It was good to laugh have a drink and not hear the words, "Mommy! Mommy! Hey Mommy" 5000 times.

After dinner, none of us had been to the new JCP that opened before Christmas. So we went and strolled around to see if it would be worth a second trip. I was impressed very clean, employees were very nice, LOTS of deals!! I tried on a few retro dresses, some very funky shoes nothing that fit my budget right now but I did find some great deals on some anchor pieces to my wardrobe at $3, 5 and 6 each. Sometime down the road I will be making a second trip.

It was such a long crazy day, great to shop with some girlfriends and some me time. Very much needed me time. Happy Birthday to my friend!! Welcome to the club!! Sending heart hugs!!

TTFN~

g-pa's project.......

Everyday after school the kids come running in the door at 3:00 on the dot. They are starving, excited to be home just utter chaos. We have a snack and talk about the day and then straight to homework. It is usually crazy amounts and no one wants to stay focused.

Yesterday, my friend and Kaitlynn's godfather, Raymond needed help with a photo project of his own. He was leaving in a few days to visit with family and wanted to take it with him. I can't explain it well enough but he is the youngest of ten children, he grew up on a family farm that his brother and other siblings still own.

He had a matte cut out in the letters of his last name and started filling it in with family photos. He realized he wanted each family member in their own space but did not have enough letters in his last name. He ask me months ago what would I do. I told him I would do something with the year his parents were married to provide enough spaces.

Because it was too costly to make one for each of his siblings he finished his and I photographed. We blew it up to a small poster size and he will be delivering them to everyone in a few days. I thought this was great idea. My dad even helped edit a photo of his parents so they fit in the space better. To me it was a huge labor of love and his parents would have been very proud. His mother, I am sure, would have been thrilled to receive one of theses.

While I was helping with the final phases of his project he took on the task of helping Kaitlynn and Jackson with their homework and entertaining Madelynn. The chaos heightened. When I finished I walked in the dinning room and he just shook his head. He grabbed Kaitlynn's math sheet and asked, "What grade is this??" I just laughed because Phil and I have asked each other the same question recently too.

I was glad I could help a friend but happier that Kaitlynn will have the memory of her god-father helping her with her homework. I remember growing up and my god-father always being in my life. He is a great friend of my father, I always loved to hear him laugh and someone I have great respect for. In forty years he has NEVER missed my birthday. I hope someday Kaitlynn feels the same way for her god-father (she calls him g-pa by the way).

Here is picture of the project my dad and I helped him finish.

TTFN~

Peanut's Canvas

 

Well part one of my annual photo project is finished. As I was going through my photos from this year I found this one. I have been meaning to take a picture of Madelynn standing next to her photo every time I take her to the pediatric cardiologist and always seemed to forget my camera. This year I remembered.

 

 

Photos of so many heart kids fill the walls of the office waiting room. The canvas of Madelynn  was taken a year after her surgery. I love it because she looks like any other child. I love it because when I see this picture I have no negative memories associated with it. At the time this photo was taken she had just finished a year of physical therapy. I felt as though she was finally on a road in her recovery that wasn't two steps forward four steps back. Every time I see this photo I can't help but smile.

I love sharing smiles.

TTFN~

stick a fork in me.....

I really should be in bed I am exhausted, I have to work in the morning and my brain has shut down. I am trying to watch the ND game but the Tide have rolled over them before half time. What an embarrassing display of college football.

I am not even sure why I have not gotten my lazy butt off the couch. We all have those lazy days where the drive is turned off. The dishes are done, kitchen is clean, three loads of laundry done I could go on but I am just done. I can do no more.

My original post for today will have to wait. Headed to bed to listen to the game until I pass out.

TTFN~

Rings....

Sometime between May of 1997 and December of 1997 Phil decided that I was the girl for him and picked out an engagement ring all by himself and put it on layaway. He wanted to have it for Valentine's Day 1998.

When he went to pick it up that faithful day in February the jewelry store had LOST it. As hard as they looked, it could not be found. In great frustration Phil looked at the jewelry store associate and asked what rings did he have for a similar price took that ring unsized and left the store.

After he proposed he apologized in case it didn't fit and told me the story. It fit PERFECTLY!!!

When we were shopping for wedding bands I was very adamant about what I wanted. My band had to match his. No diamonds or fancy art work just a simple matching band so that when I looked down at mine I knew exactly what his looked like. We shopped the city over. Most jewelry stores we went into had there own ideas of what my wedding band should look like. We walked out of those stores faster than we walked in.

The stores that did have what I wanted the selection was terrible. I didn't think I would ever find what I had envisioned. Until we walked into the jewelry store that lost my engagement ring. There it was in the case EXACTLY what I wanted. The rings are simple gold bands with diamond cuts in the gold. Well because of the diamond cuts the rings had to be ordered special they do not size this style.

Two weeks before the wedding we went in and paid off the rings. I asked if I could see them and try it on just to make sure it fit. READY FOR THIS......they could not find the rings. I wish I were kidding about that. They shut the store down for about two hours turning it upside down trying to find them. We finally left the store totally distraught. They promised they would find them and have them ready for us before we left town to get married. A few hours later I received a message the rings were found.

Fast forward about 10 years later I was giving Katie, Jack and Maddie their baths before bed. I used to have this nervous habit of spinning my diamond from my engagement ring around my finger. Not realizing I was doing it I felt pain and my finger was bleeding. My diamond had fallen out of my ring and I cut my finger on the broken prong. Read here for the story.

I have been carrying the ring with the broken prong and the loose diamond around in my purse for 3 and 1/2 years. Finally Friday I walked into the SAME jewelry store Phil bought it from and asked them to confirm it was in fact my diamond, could they reset and repair my ring. It will take about two weeks and $100.00 but it will be repaired. I am very excited to get it back.

I was telling my neighbor this story and about getting it repaired. She jokingly asked me didn't you take the hint maybe those were signs. I told her I didn't believe we weren't supposed to be together. She says why not. I told her because to this day my matching wedding band fits exactly inside Phil's wedding band like it belongs there. I saw Phil smile.

As long as they do not lose my original ring they are repairing I will be one happy wife. LOL!!

TTFN~

don't forget to laugh......

I have mentioned this before but, I have been working on my picture project that is far from done. I came across this picture.

 

I LOVE this picture!!

 

However, the amount of times the shutter clicked to get this one picture and the giggles, begging and fussing that came along for the ride was ridiculous. This picture was taken the last day of three weeks of day camp. Kaitlynn was in fine arts camp, Jackson sports camp and Madelynn was in mini camp (for mini people like her). Each week of the fine arts camp, Kaitlynn was able to make a tye-dye shirt. She was so thoughtful and made a shirt for each of them.

 

Thinking Jackson was stronger than Kaitlynn I originally tried something else. However he was having problems balancing Madelynn. All the sudden I hear, "Jack I'm falling", "Maddie I can't see", "Mommy Maddie just kicked me".

 

Which resulted in this:

 

 

 

Whenever I see the the good picture I will always remember what ensued to actually get it. It will always make me laugh.

 

 

Don't ever forget to laugh......

 

TTFN~



not an obligation.........

Love is a Gift NOT an obligation.

Today has been one of those days that this Mama was truly tested. My children are a gift. As an extention of that gift is the love I have for them. But today I could not take it. I have been battling a headache that took 12 hours to go away. Two of my children came home from school an absolute wreck.

Jack was so tired everything made him whine and cry. Even when I wasn't talking to him he would high-pitched squeal and cry. He had about 5 melt downs in about 4 hours. This mama was pushed to the edge today. Finally, we got enough food in him (seriously he come home everyday eats about 700 calories in snacks and still eats dinner less that two hours later, God help me when he is a teenager, he's only seven now), he cleaned his room, did some homework and I sent him to bed.

The Girls on the other hand REFUSED to clean their room, made an even bigger mess and nothing gets their attention. I have to be a mean mommy again. Before Christmas I threatened to take all the toys away. I did. I sorted the toys with sentimental value bagged up the rest and took them to Good Will. Just to walk in their room frustrates me to a point I want to cry. So tomorrow I will be collecting the new Christmas toys and throwing them in a bag.

I always tell them I love them even after we have disagreed about something, clothes, messy room, homework. Sometimes they even ask, "Mommy do you love me even though you are mad right now." The answer is always,"Yes, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back, forever and ever, ALWAYS!"

As I head off to bed to end this EXHAUSTING day. I am thankful for my gifts but more greatful the sun has gone down and very soon today will be a memory. Here is to starting fresh in the morning and always treasuring a gift.

TTFN~

A family minute.....

As I was looking for my inspiration for today's post I remembered I had this photo of Madelynn I have been meaning to share.

This is Madelynn stopping to rest on a park bench on our way down Constitution to the Lincoln Memorial. This was a very long, cold day but well worth every minute. As I watched her ooh and aahh over all of the majestic architecture in our nation's capital I smiled ear to ear, the entire day. We walked miles that day, but I had no idea how far, honestly it doesn't matter how far. For her I would have walked triple the distance.

As a family we were some place we had never been, spending the day together, sharing a meal and the kids actually learned something. We couldn't have asked for better. Madelynn rode on Daddy's shoulder's some but she walked quite a bit too. As I watched her it took my breath away. I would have never believed anyone who told me four years ago we would be taking this trip.

We have come so far in such a short period of time. I had no idea how complete she would make our family.

Enjoy your family....

TTFN~

You deserve peace....

“Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace”

I have spent more than half of my married life trying to find certain peace in my life. Most of the time when I couldn't find it, I was fighting within myself. The anger I felt verses whether I forgave a person. Suddenly one day I realized I needed to let go, the anger I felt was getting the better of me. If I forgave the person even if they didn't know it gave me immeasurable peace.

After the discovery of Madelynn's coming, her birth and her heart journey, I had so much anger I needed to find the right way to let it go. I didn't know who to forgive for this life altering experience. My free will created it. So forgiving myself and letting go of my anger at GOD was a very difficult thing to do. But it still always came back to my choice and free will made this happen.

A few years back I was angry that something happened. Others were angry for and with me. The others that were angry were VERY angry. They wanted to know why I wasn't more angry and what was I going to do about it. The answer was simply nothing. I refuse to let the others persons choices that truly did hurt my feelings consume me with anger.

I have a husband who loves me beyond measure, children who believe that I am the best thing since sliced bread, a God who loves me and forgives me no matter what. My life is complete. I refuse to live my life in chaos. For this reason, I will always forgive so my life has peace.

Wishing you peace in 2013.

TTFN~

I can live with that......

It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that.” Than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”

My world is small and insignificant to most people. But my children and my husband, are my world and I am the most significant person to them. Yes, I can live with that.

As we begin 2013, I was thinking about 2012 what a year. We reached great highs; we are one step closer to Madelynn being almost specialist free, Jackson's kindergarten teacher's promise came true and Kaitlynn is finding great balance in life. But we have also reached ridiculous lows; a grief I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Watching your spouse say good-bye to a sibling way to soon, should never happen.

But we are still standing here January 1, 2013 ready to take on a new year. The slate is clean, choices are always available and we are going to dive in. I don't ever want to look back and wish I would have done something. I would rather say," Well I tried that, learned this, time to try something new."

Hoping you find the courage to do the same.

Happy 2013!!

TTFN~