When God provides the Clarity...........

Because of my experience with Madelynn's heart journey, I volunteer with Camp LUCK (www.CampLUCK.com)to help other families in crisis. It is not a pretty job but it is one I believe does the most good. I get to remind people they are not alone in their journey. I have no problem being the sounding board when they are angry. I love to share their joys of victory when an appointment went well or a surgery went better that expected. But I won't lie it is a very emotional ride. One I wholeheartedly agree to take every time I am matched with a family in need.

Recently, my work life and my volunteer Camp LUCK life have become a little blurry. Suddenly I receive calls from families reaching out to the church because they have a need. The Ronald McDonald house is full and they need a place too stay near the hospital. Their funds are low and they need a few things and they live more than 25 miles from the hospital. All of these things happen every day. When it's a heart family I try to offer emotional support since I have been there.

Most of time I can connect them with a community group that will help with that financial need. Most of the time I don't hear from them again. For what ever reason most of the time I am completely ok with that. I can look myself in the mirror everyday and know I gave it my all.

There are however those families who change your life FOREVER.

It doesn't seem right. I signed up to help them and they are changing me.

I found a letter I had written to a family. Their heart warrior was in bad shape, waiting for a transplant and really thought they needed to be planning a funeral. I started to cry when I left from visiting that family. The mother said I would cry with you but I have no more tears to cry. I can't imagine feeling so broken and disheartened that you can't cry anymore tears. It made me cry harder all the way home. I prayed for this family and asked God is this really the end for them it just seems so unfair. A few hours later the call came for a new heart and on Easter Sunday this warrior was given new life. A few months later I received a message of thanks and the mom said, "I know how to find you if I need you again".

My energy to continue helping these families was renewed. God really has a plan for them and me.

In March, a family needed help to stay at the Hospitality House near the hospital. At the recommendation of the Hospitality House the family called the church and I received the call. If you knew how difficult it was to actually reach me if you didn't know me at the church....almost impossible. (Yes I know it was God's plan).

It was a heart family who had exhausted all of their funds to stay in Charlotte near their very sick heart warrior. I was able to connect them with another community group that went above and beyond to keep this family together until the warrior succumb to her failing heart and died. I felt completely helpless unsure anything I said helped them. I left them with a few gifts from the church, a few kind words, a hug and a few tears.

In truth, I felt completely helpless, cried all the way home and hugged and Thanked God for my children when I got there. I have to force myself to just lift the family to God in hopes he will provide the right people and tools to help them grieve since they lived out of the area. The thought of going home empty still makes me cry.

As I shifted my focus to whatever else God had in store for me and I was engulfed in my own family chaos last week I received this text.

".....I haven't had a sincere way to Thank You but I am so grateful for your help. You helped me stay by my child's side and that means so much to me. I couldn't repay you if I could so I just wanted to say Thank You again. I can't say you were wrong either because I was not ok. I've never been so hurt in my life. I tried to be strong but it really does hurt. I saw that you were a very sincere person. I love that you are a Godly Woman. I've never seen someone care the way that you do. I have a lot of growing and changing to do in my life. I hope to have a heart as big as yours. Thanks again."

Just another reminder that it is ok that my volunteer life with Camp LUCK and my job at the church will get a little blurry and God will provide the clarity.

TTFN~

Happy 10th Birthday Jackson!!

Today Jackson enters in the double digits never to return to single digits again. I could be sad and some days I am sure I will be. But today I am very excited for his new adventures to begin. I can't wait to see what this world has in store for him.

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY JACKSON!!

Love you to the moon and back!!
Mama

**Due to copyrighting I could not use Verge by Owl City so I chose the song in this video. It was not Jackson's favorite but he said it will do. I on the other hand was totally bummed.**

How do you get it all done??

Someone once asked me ..."How do you do it?? How do you get it all done??"

The truth is I don't.

My regular weeks are jammed packed full from about 5:30 am until about midnight or later. Most days I am operating on about 4-5 hours of sleep. I still don't get it all done.

Currently, I am sleeping on my mattress on the floor (in our extra bedroom) because I am stripping the popcorn ceiling out of the master bedroom. All three of my kids are in camp from 10 am - 3 pm while I am working. To give you an example Monday I was at the office with all three of my kids by 9:00. At 10:00 I walk them over to the camp on the church campus. I worked until 3:00 grabbed the kids, came home, cleaned some of the house, made dinner, worked on the ceiling, showered and went to bed.

However, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I put Madelynn on the bus for tutoring, get to the office by 9:30, kids at camp by 10:00, leave the office at 10:45 go get Madelynn from tutoring, take her to camp, work until 3:00, get kids, run a few errands, clean a little house, dinner, ceiling, shower and finally bed.

As a Parent it is never ending. This does not include soccer training, practices, and in about 7-8 weeks games or other things I volunteer my time for (LOL!!). They all have summer homework reading and math, chores and fun. For me it means washing and drying all the clothes Sunday and folding and putting away Monday; last nights dinner dishes get done this morning or mowing the grass Tuesday and weeding the flower beds Thursday. I always consider what has to be done, how long it will take and what day I can fit it in.

I do not get it all done and I fail at things all the time. Sometimes I didn't get Jackson's favorite shorts washed or I promised Madelynn I would read to her and she fell asleep. The best part about these failures is they are mine and I am ok with it. It might mean I have to get up earlier the next day to make sure the shorts are ready or read two books tomorrow night but that's ok.

My "To Do" list is a book and my "Wish List" are just dreams. I have learned to just keep moving forward. Once I finish the Master Bedroom I only have three more spaces and the whole house has beautiful flat ceilings. Not only that I paid for it all with my two, yes TWO, side jobs so no debt was incurred.

I do not have the best and biggest house, multiple cars, or six figure salary. I have a husband who loves me and works his butt off every day, children who love me, a roof over my head, and food in my cupboards, a job (or three) and friends who don't judge me. The rest of it does not matter. If at the end of the day I can look myself in the mirror and say you gave today 100% NOTHING ELSE MATTER.

There is always tomorrow. When you wonder how all the other mom's get it done?? They don't either; they just keep moving forward.

TTFN~