Peanut's new do....

Well they were about to call the pound on Jack if I didn't get him a haircut so Wednesday I took him for a clean up. When we were there it was really quiet. We were the only customers in the store. So I asked them if they would do Maddie's first haircut.

Yes I know it is short. It won't be that way forever but I think for now and summer time it looks really cute. Hopefully, over the next couple of days I can get a good one of her smiling. Don't worry not everyone likes it, but I do. Phil says it is cute but a little too short.

TTFN~

1st Swimming Lesson

In an effort to teach the kids water safety I have signed Katie and Jack up for swimming lesson at the rec center. This week was the first lessons. During this fun filled hour Jack has his lesson first for 30 mins and Katie , Maddie and Phil played in the other side of the pool. At the second half of the hour, Jack comes to play in the water with Phil and Maddie and Katie has her lesson.
At the last minute on the first lesson I decided to take a few pictures. Talk about fun. I think the kids really enjoy the time in the water.

Enjoy the pictures above.

TTFN~

Completely Discouraged

I thought that life would find some type of normalcy once Maddie had reached a certain point of recovery. I thought or maybe I convinced myself it was just a bump in the road. After the last few weeks I have had I was sourly mistaken. I know now why parents walk away from their children. Please let me stress I do not agree with it but I understand it. Life and Parenting does not come with an instruction manual but very little prepared me for the last few weeks but mostly the last few days.



I have been working on the kids baby books updating them adding pictures and stories. I have this really cool retractable craft table I can set up and take down at a moments notice. My kids were warned it was not theirs and nothing on the table was to be touched. They destroyed several of my supplies off the table.



For Christmas Katie and Jack received the blankets that have to be cut and knotted to be made. I sat one night for four hours and made both of them. Katie took hers and my good craft scissors (off the table) and started cutting the blanket into little tiny pieces all over her bedroom floor.



All of the kids were playing in Jack's room I went to go checking on them, I found Maddie running around naked and Katie and Jack thought it would be okay to pee on Jack's bedroom carpet. Just because they could.



I am only working three days a week and everyday when I come home from work their rooms are destroyed and they give me grief about cleaning it up. It takes forever to get it clean and by the time they are clean it is bed time.



There are no words for some things I have had to deal with my children, mostly Katie and Jack. Don't get me wrong my kids should not be bored by any means. I have gone out of my way to make sure they have had a fun filled summer with VBS, Discovery Place, Camp Gabe. The Water Park (at least once a week), Free movies, Trips to the Library, Parades, Camp LuCK, and a short trip to the Beach. Something has been planned every single week so they would not be bored. I have failed.



So now except for swimming lessons and books to read I have to take it ALL away. I am even considering re-arranging the bedrooms so that the only thing in their rooms are beds, clothes and books. Don't get me wrong they can earn the toys back but it will take days of good behavior to earn one toy back.



I have even tried to set a good example by keeping my bedroom clean and trying to make my bed everyday. I even asked Katie and Jack what it was that I ever taught them or had done to make they think all of this behavior was okay. The response I was given was shrugged shoulders. In case any one is wondering spanking is not working.



I thought I was being a good mom, I thought I was being fair, I thought I was always doing what was best for them. Well now what is best for them is to be mean. At least in their eyes I will be mean. I have to take it all away until they realize I am in charge, what I say goes and if they can not follow the rules they don't get the advantages of good behavior. I hate the fact that I have to become this person because I am not this person.



I have a big heart and love them with every ounce of my existence. I have gone with out so much for myself so they can have everything. I have worked relentlessly to make sure that they have no idea we are struggling and barely floating. They have no idea of the generosity of others so that they don't miss a beat of every day life.



I am so disappointed that I have failed them and have to become this person I never wanted to be. In the end as long as they learn something I know it will be worth. However, to accomplish this I have to become a person with no emotion, telling them no, you have to show me you can be good before you can have that or do that. You have to earn it.



I am just very depressed, disappointed and discouraged about the whole thing. What a horrible way to end summer vacation.



TTFN~

Camp Gabe......

This week Katie and Jack had the joy of participating in a week long day camp. Each day they rode to work with me, made me a little crazy at the office before I took them to camp. The art projects they came home with are so cute. Not to mention they were purely exhausted everyday.


Katie made a friend at Vacation Bible School and we found out they would be at Kamp Gabe together too, she was so excited.
















At the end of the week, like Vacation Bible School, the kids put on a little performance. I was not prepared for Katie to come out with an alligator on her head or Jack to be dressed like a bumblebee. I was surprised I could get good pictures as I was laughing.

Thought I would share a few pictures.






























































I wish I would have been able to video tape the performance the songs that went with the costumes were so great. Maybe next time.


TTFN~

Jackson turns 5

Happy Birthday Jackson!!

To my son,

Some days you just know how to pull at that last string and snap it. It is who you are always testing the limits, showing me how smart you are and proving you are all boy. Your smile is infectious and your laugh contagious; most days they are the only things that keep you out of trouble.

The other day I was going through some pictures of you and saw you go from 0-5 right before my eyes. Your life is about to change very quickly and although you will always be my boy you will no longer be my little boy. I am very excited to help guide through your new adventures. My hope is that you will always remember I am here for you.

My favorite memories are spending one on one time with you, talking to you as I tuck you in at night, and letting you crawl up in my lap when you are tired. You had such a rough beginning because I was never feeding you enough, you were always hungry; some things never change. You were also sick more times than I can remember. Since your third surgery you have been 100 times better. I finally had my happy boy I always wanted.

Always wanted....... I remember the day your Daddy and I found out you would be a boy. It was your Daddy's birthday and as soon as she said boy, I cried. I was so very excited I couldn't wait to see you. Little did I know you would be close to 10 lbs. before I saw you.

So my sweet boy as you enjoy these last six weeks of summer before you head off to kindergarten I hope your birthday starts it off right. Have a great day at camp.

Love, Mommy

Getting used to the camera.......

As I did a very long time ago, Maddie is getting used to having a camera in her face. Every time she sees the camera in my hand she looks at me and yells, "Cheese!" Seconds after you snap her picture she comes running to me and says, "I wanna see mommy, I see!" Sometimes she doesn't even give me a chance to snap the picture before she comes running to see a picture.

Besides getting used to the camera she has also found something else she really likes......Goggles.

Every chance she gets, she putts a pair on, no matter the size or who they belong to for a few minutes they belong to her. No matter how bad my day is going it all washes away as soon as I see her sampling a pair of goggles.

(Testing Jack's new swimming goggles)

(Testing the safety goggles)

Happy Monday!!

TTFN~

Jack's Birthday

Although Jack's birthday isn't until Tuesday, he will be at day camp everyday this week and Grandma Bacho will be out of town next weekend. So we grilled out some food, spent time with friends and let Jack open a whole mess of presents.

He loved all the Toy Story 3 gifts and has played with them all. I don't think he has a favorite yet. However, he did spend most of today trying to find reasons to use his evil Dr. Pork Chop talking flashlight. Talk about a hilarious gift.

If you notice in the pictures the cake is Batman. We had to have that cake because Batman comes with a launcher. I tried to talk him out of it but no luck. So everyone had blue lips and teeth which was quite comical and the cake was delicious. However, the ice cream was better. This summer my neighbor has been making homemade ice cream. For the party, we had homemade chocolate ice cream and it was superb!

Tuesday I will probably take him to spend some of his birthday money, but he has been having a ball playing with all the new gifts. Thank you to everyone who had things mailed to the house. Katie had a lot of fun helping me wrap them up.

Enjoy the pics!

TTFN~

Summer part 1

When I think about the days before summer started I had really only planned a few things. I still needed to work but I wanted the summer time focus to be on the time the kids and I spent together not the days Mommy wasn't there because she was working.

Even though school did not get out until the first week of June, it feels like our summertime started with our weekend at Camp LuCK. Since then we have spent several days at the library and Katie completed her summer reading challenge and will pick up her prize for completion this Friday. Towards the end of June, all three children were able to go to Vacation Bible School everyday for a week and they thoroughly enjoyed it. They are still singing the songs around the house.

With our membership at the Recreation Center, we have spent even more days swimming at the outdoor water park. We were able to take advantage of the free admission day at Discovery Place, which despite the few set backs it was a great day. The 4th of July celebration in town was a wonderful way to spend the morning and be just a few miles from home to be back by lunch time for naps.

I had also originally signed Katie up for a summer session of cheer leading, however with the goings on mentioned above where in the world would she make the time to go. So, I withdrew her for the summer. Surprisingly enough she was not disappointed. This was a huge relief for me.

So for the first, 6-7 weeks of the summer I feel like we left nothing out. To see the kids exhausted at the end of the day and ready to sleep I feel like I have done my job. Most importantly, I very rarely hear, "Mommy when will you be home." Most of the time they ask me what are we doing on your day off? Although it has been a very full agenda we have very lucky that most of theses events have had little or no cost.

With the help of friends, co-workers, and family I was able to find the free events that were lots of fun. For those events that did have a cost involved we were able to get a discounted rate just by asking or because we have more than one child. Most importantly we had a little help from family and we wanted to say THANK YOU!

With the struggles we have endured over the past two years with Maddie's medical bills of which we are still paying on, Phil's work getting really slow and simply trying to make ends meet things have been a challenge. One of my most important goals during this time is too make sure the kids don't feel like they are missing out. So far I feel like we have accomplished that but not without lots of help.

As I look at the calender for the rest of the summer it is even more slapped full than the first half. I hope I survive it. More importantly I hope when the summer come to a close the kids will have great stories to tell at school with their classmates and I won't ever hear, I wish we would have done this. Pictures and stories of the second half of summer will appear as the events happen. I can't wait to share some of them.

Hope your summer is going as well.

TTFN~

Make it be over....please

Today started out at 6am when Jack comes running in my room with a bad nose bleed. I was really not ready to get up yet. I get Jack cleaned up and prop him up in my bed hoping he would fall back asleep, even for just a little while. He did.

Once the rest of the house started the day we had two things to do, while Phil had to work. My friend is out of town and asked me to check on her mother that is in an assisted living facility and I needed to go to BJ's to get some groceries. Simple enough.....right? I wish.

From my house to the assisted living facility is a decent drive. We walk in and as I am signing in as a guest Jack looks at me and says, "Mommy I need to sit down.....I think I am going to throw up."

I look at the front desk clerk and ask where the closest bathroom is. We walk in the bathroom and I ask Jack if his tummy is upset and he said yes. I tell him to sit on the potty. All of the sudden I see his body buck and I knew he was going to throw up. I spun him around because he was about to sit on the toilet. Thankfully I was quick enough and 98% of it went in the toilet.

So here we are Me, Katie, Jack and Maddie in this single bathroom. I am trying to calm Jack down, keep Maddie from unlocking the door, Katie is just standing there telling me how bad it smells and I am trying to keep it together. It was so bad it came out his nose I felt awful for him.

As I am trying to clean Jack up and clean up the little bit that missed the toilet, I see Maddie try to pull the emergency cord. These are the cords that sends off an alarm for help in case there is a fall in the bathroom. Usually the whole world comes running when the alarm is set off. That was all I needed.

So now I have made this drive, Jack has vomited and we haven't even seen my friends mom yet. I needed to see her for just 15 minutes and talk to the nurse to make sure they didn't need anything and we could leave.

While in her room I am talking to her and trying to find something on TV she might like, my cell phone rings. I look at the number it looks familiar but not sure who it is. I answer it and no one is there. I look up and realize Katie has picked up the room phone and called my cell. It was really hard not to laugh. We then check with the nurse and leave.

One errand down and Jack seems to be doing ok. The BJ's store is not close the the house but on the way home from the assisted living. I asked Jack how he is feeling. He said ok but he was thirsty. I stop to get him a Gatorade to help him along. We meet my mom and get onto BJ's. When we dropped my mom back off home I send Katie and Jack in her house to go to the bathroom before we head home.

Five minutes into the drive home Jack says he has to go to the bathroom. I was angry because I just sent him to the bathroom. Thinking he was playing around I tell him he is just going to have to wait till we get home. Further along he says mommy I really have to go. At this point we are about 7 minutes from home. I figured he could wait, he just went at my parents .

We are now at a point in the drive home that there is no place to turn off, no place to u-turn and the traffic is crawling. Jack starts crying . Mommy I can't hold it! I could not go anywhere. The only solution I had was to let him pee in one of Maddie's diapers. Were stuck and the cars were not moving. As soon as he moves his body, he started peeing and not in the diaper I gave him.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think if he went at my parents house and it took us just under 30 minutes to get home did I think he would have to go again. He swore up and down he went to the bathroom at my parents house. It is now just about noon time and I am ready for the day to be over.

Phil was working this morning and was at home when we were driving home. I asked him to get their lunch ready so they could eat as soon as we got home. By the time lunch was over I could take no more. I put everyone down for a nap and Phil was off to my parents house to do a little work for them.

However, what I wanted was not to be. The girls would not go to sleep. I finally about 2:30 had to separate them and everyone fell asleep including me. About a half hour later I hear Jack running to the bathroom and not everything made in the toilet. At this point, I was really wanting to just sleep and forget about everything for a while. Maddie was asleep in her bed, Katie was asleep in my bed and Jack was just wanting Mommy. So he piled in my bed too.

Sometime later I hear Maddie. Jack is sleeping on top of me (don't ask how that happened) so I tell Katie to get Maddie while I try to get out from under Jack and not wake him (he has had such a rough day). As the girls come back in the room I ask Katie what time it was. It was a few minutes before 5, yes that was 5pm.

I could ask where the day went but I by no means ever want to relive today. I feel really bad for Jack. He will be 5 in about 10 days and I just can't imagine what today was like for him. There has to be a better way.

Hoping Sunday is better.

TTFN~

Product Test

One of the things I was doing to pass the time, mostly so I wouldn't go crazy when Maddie was first recovering from surgery; I found online surveys to do. Some earn points to convert to prizes others earn points that convert to cash or gift cards. It has been a great way to buy presents from Amazon or just getting checks in the mail. It beats getting bills in the mail.


So every once in a while these surveys convert to being a product tester for cash or points. I have received everything from frozen food, facial products, you name it. My most recent product testing is dental floss. I like these type of product tests because they don't interrupt day to day life. However, some times my product testing creates a little humor and interruption in that day to day living.


A few months back I received a box from "the box man" (UPS) as Jack calls it. He loves when the box man comes. In the box was some frozen foods to test, some directions about the surveys after the food is tested and a little bit of money. The food was packed in dry ice, which I did not know. Not to mention, I didn't know anything about dry ice. I pick up the dry ice out of the box and my fingers start burning and toss it in the sink.


All of the sudden, my sink starts popping because the dry ice has come in contact with water. Not realizing what is going on I turn the water on. That was the wrong answer. My sink suddenly sounds like a popcorn popper. I grab what is left in the sink and toss it back in the box and toss it outside to smoke away to nothing. Later the more I thought about it I just laughed.


Well today was one of those days again. I am very particular about my bathroom and regularly boot my kids out of it. Because the lady that watches my kids comes to my house I try to make sure everything in my bathroom is put away so the kids don't get into; even though they have been told Mommy and Daddy's bathroom is off limits.


When I walked in my bathroom this afternoon I knew someone had been in it. I looked around and opened my medicine cabinet it was out of place too. I quickly tried to spy my dental floss I am testing and it was not there. the first out of my mouth were, "Katie, Jack get in here right now!"


They come running in with big eyes as I ask who was in my medicine cabinet. You could tell Katie was stunned and was wondering how I knew.


Back track to last night.........I gave Maddie a bracelet of mine I did not care if it got ruined and two minutes after I gave it to her, the string broke on it and all the beads were all over the floor. Katie and I picked them up but I never saw the beads after that.


Again I asked Katie who was playing with my dental floss. Katie admitted that she could not find my craft ribbon so she used the dental floss to restring the beads into a necklace. It was very sweet. I thought most creative. However, the necklace was only big enough to fit over Maddie's head so her fun bracelet last night is now a cool necklace today.


I am starting to think my products for testing are jinxed.

TTFN~

Busy Weekend..........

Because of the slow times at Phil's job and taking the week off to see his father through surgery we had very limited resources to do much this weekend. We didn't even leave the town we lived in by more than two miles. But it was fun.......

There were plenty of events a few miles from our home. Saturday, we took the kids to the town festivities which included water slides, free gifts, watermelon eating contest, free lunch at the VFW and parade that the kids came home with baskets filled with candy. During the parade, Phil taught Jack to yell "Semper Fi" to the Marines as they rolled through. One of the Marines stopped dead, looked at Jack and said, "Semper Fi son."

When we made it back to the house the kids all went down for naps and I joined them it was GREAT!!

Later we had friends over for dinner and watched the race it was lots of fun with good laughs. It has been a long time that we were able to just laugh with friends. Phil grilled the food, my friend made homemade and I made the brownies. I have to say there is nothing like homemade ice cream over fresh made brownies in the summertime. Of course when topped with Hershey syrup I would eat it anytime.

Sunday Phil and I did not feel like doing much. Because Phil was gone for five days, last week, we had some of our favorite shows to catch up on. I don't usually like to watch them without him. Later Sunday we discussed taking the kids to see some local fireworks. I declined to take them. I think Phil was a little disappointed about my choice but the end result was much better than I could have ever thought.

Living in a small town, surrounded by other small towns and you get the coolest firework display. I walked through the house about 9:30pm and checked all the windows. I discovered that out one of my bedroom windows from the 2nd floor you could see some of the best fireworks. I called the kids to my room set it up where the three of them could sit and watch and just backed away.

Three little kids sitting on an old foot locker trunk, with wet hair from the shower, in there pj's and all you hear is "OOOHHH!, COOL!, Did you see that one mommy?!?!?!, WOW!!!!" Maddie kept saying, "irework mommy, irework!!"

I don't know how my parents did it taking us all to the river to watch the fireworks with the crowds and craziness that went on. I don't know how old we were when they started taking us. I do remember laughing a lot and just having alot of fun.

I hope my children remember that night because all I could do was smile as I listen to them commentate about the fireworks.

However, I wished Monday was as fun.

We decided to take the kids to the Rec. Center to the water park. This has become their favorite thing to do. We had just planned to go for two hours in the morning and that is usually enough for them and us. Today we ran into lots of people we knew. One of Katie's cheer leading friends and her family were there. Phil ran into a former co-worker and his family there. So we were having a great time.

However, they had to call everyone out of the pool because one of the parents decided to not follow the rules with their small child in diapers. The child left a present in the pool. Each child in diapers must where one of the swimmers pants and the plastic rubber pants then their swim suit. This prevents the presents in the pool.

Since this was not the normal 10 minute break for all the kids we were not prepared for it and neither was Jack. He and Phil were throwing a ball back and forth in the pool. Phil overthrew the ball or Jack just missed it. Jack went under water to get the ball when he came back up he hit his head on the edge of one of the water slides.

It was very chaotic at this unscheduled pool clearing and I had Maddie and Katie I was starting to panic when I could not find Jack. When I finally found he and Phil together Jack was crying and Phil said his head was bleeding. Phil took him in the bathroom and checked his head. He appeared to be ok with a minor cut. Unfortunately, head wounds bleed way too much.

Jack will let me put ice packs on it but when Phil and I mentioned stitches he screamed bloody murder and just started wailing with huge tears. I asked Phil again to look at it. He will only let Phil look at. Phil said it looks ok but it will be at least 5-6 days before he can swim again. He took a bath instead of a shower tonight and went to bed with an ice pack for his head. He said the ice packs feel good on his head.

My poor little man was having such a good weekend. I felt bad it ended this way. The only good thing is that I have to work the next 3 days so maybe by then his head will be scabbed up good so swimming will not bother it. Except for Jack's head wound it was a great weekend!

TTFN~