Something I forgot.........

The other day when we were at The Discovery Place I was so worried about keeping an eye on Jack, Katie and her friend. I would just glance at Maddie and keep moving on. She was safely strapped in the stroller and could most everything so she just hung out for the ride.

However, while I was snapping pictures of the kids playing in this display I look over at Maddie and this is what I saw..............

Yes, her leg is over the top of the front stroller tray and she is sucking her big toe. I guess I need to save this picture for her first boyfriend.

Happy middle of the week!

TTFN~

Suicide Mission

Sometime last week someone told me The Discovery Place would be free to the public Sunday afternoon. However I forgot about it until my mother sent me an email and reminded me about it. I spread the word to a few other families and they were going to meet me there. Katie also had a friend stay the night Saturday night and we were meeting her parents there.

Not to mention, at the VBS closing prayer service the kids were invited to church Sunday and asked to wear their VBS t-shirts.

So Phil leaves for Indiana at 6am, and I get up at get in the shower. I have 4 kids to get ready for church and need to feed them breakfast. Out the door we left and made it to church on time. I personally was stunned. It wasn't too bad because we met my parents there, so they were able to see the kids.

After church it was utter chaos at my parents house and I felt bad we invaded their house. I didn't want to drive all the way home and then back to Discovery Place. We were already more than half way there. So I just pack the kids up and headed to the line. What a line it was.

So the parking in Uptown Charlotte for this event was free. The admission was free. The rest of the day was just unreal. I get one of the last parking spaces at the very top of the parking garage. I get all the necessities in the stroller count the four kids heads (my three and Katie's little friend.)

I should have known I was in for trouble when we tried to get to the elevator in the parking garage. I either had to walk a mile down to the next floor or carry the stroller up about 15 steps. So I carried the stroller with Maddie in it up the 15 steps and waited our turn at the elevator. We get in the elevator and it is stifling all I could think of was, "Please Lord don't let it break down." We get out of the elevator only to discover I have to carry the stroller down 15 more steps to get to the street level. Since I was the only adult I didn't have anyone to hold one end while I held the other I just picked up the whole thing.

We get to the street level and get in line. There are about 1500 to 2000 people in front of us and we had about 15 minutes until it opened. So we waited. As the kids started to get antsy suddenly the line was moving. By about 10 minutes after 12 we were in the door. Which isn't bad you say but it was almost 100 degrees outside.

Too cool everyone off I take them to the cafe and get some fresh fruit and juice so they will be ready to go. I discover when I took some stuff out of my purse so it would not be so heavy I accidentally took out all my cash and left it in the car. Mostly I went to the cafe because all I could think of was what in the hell have I just done. My friend who was coming with her son and husband changed their plans. Katie's little friend's mom I could not get a hold of by phone. So here I am in a very public place with 10,000 other people and I have four kids to watch over. So I take a deep breathe and off we went.

The kids laid on the bed of nails, rode on the air chair, pet a turtle, looked through microscopes, saw tons of frogs in the exhibit. The afternoon although exhausting and I was a little worried about meeting up with the other parents the kids really had a good time. Finally as we were doing the last exhibit I get a call from the other parent. They had left and we were getting ready to leave so we met up about a half hour later. What happened in the the next 30-45 mins I wish to never experience again.

As we were leaving the exhibit, Jack was gone. I saw him run to the front door with Katie and her friend and then it was like he vanished. I tried to talk to a police officer but he looked at me like I had two heads and never uttered a word to me, so much for CMPD. I finally got some help from the Discovery Place Staff and they found him sobbing and he would not let go of me. He went back to look at another display after I told him we were leaving.

So Jack glues himself to me and we walk out into a mass of people I had not seen this many people in a long time. The line was longer then when we arrived three and a half hours earlier. It was hotter then earlier and I was glad to be going home. The streets were so crowded we had to walk down the street. The cars were getting mad and honking at us that finally I just became woman with a stroller get run over or get the heck out my way and just pushed my way through the crowd and made them move.

So here I am back in the dreaded parking garage. The kids run up the 15 steps to the elevator and the door opens. I pick up the stroller and sprint back up those 15 stairs. I rush in to the stifling elevator and the door closes but we don't move and I can't get the elevator door back open.

Suddenly I am thinking how much water and patience do I really have left. I can't panic because I have four kids with me. Finally I get the elevator door back open and get everybody off. I look around and the parking garage has no other elevator. So here we go we have to walk from the bottom of the parking garage to the very top where we parked as if we were a car. There is no other way up. The only thing was that we were in the shade and there was a small breeze.

About 50 yards from the car the kids are getting frustrated and wanted to know when were we going to be at the car. All I could think of was not soon enough I am pushing a stroller up hill. I get to the van and start it up with the AC on Arctic mode. I get everyone in, all of our stuff and sit down in the van. I could have passed out at that point. I still had to meet up with Katie's little friend's parents and make the 45 minute drive home.

I look back to make sure everyone is belted and ready to go and Maddie is already asleep. The kids are chugging their water trying to get cool. This is not something I believe I will ever try again but the kids had a blast and never knew I panicked not even when I thought Jack was gone.

Enjoy the pictures.

TTFN~

Closings and updates....

Well Friday was the last day of VBS and there was a closing prayer service. Family members were invited so my parents were invited. Since Katie's godmother helped me out with them earlier in the week I invited her too. I had to work that day but only for a few hours. I also volunteered to help out with the closing prayer service. It wasn't a big deal they just wanted someone over by the kids during the readings and other speaking parts in case there was a problem. The best part was the kids singing there songs................

As crazy as last week went I was very glad they went. Katie even made a friend that will be at her Camp Gabe Week in July.

There has also been some going on that I should have posted sooner but I have enough details now I can give the most information. Last week Phil's dad, James, had a heart attack. He was taken to the local hospital. He then had to be taken to better facility in Indianapolis by ambulance. After many test and discussions with all the medical personnel James had open heart surgery today.

Phil left yesterday morning to be with his family. His father did in fact have 8 blockages. Originally it was thought he only had 5. They also told us that the back of his heart wasn't very viable. It all seemed like very grim news. However, at this hour the surgery is complete he is resting in a room. There was an attempt to take the breathing tube out that was not successful and they will try again in a few hours. Tomorrow they will attempt to get him up and moving slowly but surely.

For those of you that already knew some of this THANK YOU for remembering to pray for him and Phil feels things went well. The next few days will tell the bigger picture. He will be in the hospital for a few more days, with rehab and everything it could be a long road but one they will take one day at a time.

Hoping everything continues to move in a positive direction. The kids made cards for him and they are hanging in his room so he can see them as he is recovering. He was also surrounded by most of his family and I think that made some of this go a little easier for him.

TTFN~

This week

My children have had the joy of going to Vacation Bible School (VBS) this week. I was a little nervous for them and they were too. So far things are going well...that is except for my daily routine for work.


For starters, I am working everyday this week as VBS is everyday this week. Then we have my morning schedule. In order to get myself ready, my kids ready, feed them a healthy breakfast (scrambled eggs, toast, fruit) that is instead of filling them with sugar, make the 40-45 minute drive and still get all my hours in for the week I am getting up at 5:30 in the morning. The things we do for our kids.


Tuesday morning was ridiculous because each of them got a little crazy with their breakfast. Madelynn crammed so much cantaloupe in her mouth that the cantaloupe juice had no place to go but out her mouth all down her clothes. Can't blame a girl for loving her fruit. Katie and Jack had a fight with their cups of milk and lost. I thought I was going to lose it before we got out the door.


The rides to work in the morning are usually my personal time for just me. This week it has been drowned out by the sounds of Cars, Finding Nemo, Maddie singing, Katie and Jack fighting and then tattle tailing on each other. By the time I was getting to work I was exhausted.


Oh but the best part was that I was getting to the office at or before 8am. VBS did not start until 9am. This meant I had three little munchkins in my office for about an hour. I was smart enough to go to the dollar store a few weeks back and buy new crayons, coloring books and reading books to help pass the time. Believe it or not I did get a few things done. But so did they.


Over the last few weeks of school Katie was bringing home some of the best art work. Some of it qualified just because it made me laugh. I decided I would decorate my office door with it. It would remind me everyday why I go to work and yes they are worth every penny.


When the kids saw the door they felt it was not decorated enough so each day they have been making more things for the door. I thought I would share what my door at work looks like.





I know we aren't supposed to wish our life away but, I will be so glad next week to enjoy my drives to work alone I might just have to do it in silence to truly appreciate my only time alone, a few days a week.


TTFN

Friends

Recently I was on a non-profit face book page about CHD's. Parents, mostly mom's, were talking about how since their child was diagnosed with their CHD they have lost friends. My first thought was well then they really weren't your friend. However, that usually isn't true. Most of the time people don't know what to do when they know nothing about your situation. So yes there is always two sides to every story.

When it came to our story in many ways so many people surprised us. I had a friend everyday, yes everyday, for 21 days she called me to get her "Maddie update". She probably didn't know half the stuff I was talking about but she would listen and some days I just needed normal human contact other than medical staff. There are a few people I thought were friends, but when my life path changed and these people didn't cross my path anymore, I tried to keep in touch, they did not. I have to say maybe I could have tried harder but my life did not have time for me to try harder.

We also have friends that are neighbors we have known since they moved in. They stepped in and just did whatever we asked without question. I knew when Katie and Jack were in their care I never had to worry. We even had friends calling almost everyday wanting to know what we needed. These friends really wanted to help and just patiently waited. When we called they were there. All of these friends knew nothing about heart patients or could relate to anything we were experiencing on our journey. They were just there.

These same friends I still see several times a week. Our life is getting back to normal, whatever that is, and these friends are still there. Our life would not be complete without them, so much so they are almost like an extension of our family.

Don't get me wrong our family was there and in many ways went out of their way for us. Did things they didn't have too, but they do not live here. Only my parents live here and live 30-45 minutes away depending on the day. So on one of those days when I needed human contact or Maddie was not doing well I could always call one of them and they would be here. There will never be enough words to say Thank You for that.

We have also met and friend-ed lots of other heart families. Some of them have similar stories to ours while others have travelled a much more treacherous journey. Being around other heart families life was easier in so many ways. You already know about keeping germs away, there is a respect and understanding that never has to be explained if a child has a limitation, you just went with it. In the presence of other heart families someone has already experienced it if you want to know about it, ask.

It is really sad to hear about women and families who thought they could depend on "friends" that just walked out of their lives when the road turned into a roller coaster. I was glad to see that they have found "real friends". As for us, I am truly grateful for my friends that checked on us and really meant it when they asked if we needed anything. Hopefully someday we can return the favors and there are so many.........

TTFN~

My mother always says, "Be careful what you ask for."

So Phil has been out in the crazy heat all day and comes home with an excruciating headache. I make a not so heavy meal and he lays down trying to get rid of the headache. A little while later I come and check on him to see how he is doing. As he and I are chatting I hear the kids playing upstairs. Suddenly the playing erupts into screaming and crying. Jack comes wailing downstairs about how Katie hit him, hurt him it was hard to tell through all the huge crocodile tears.

I consoled him told him to stay away from Katie and go to his room and turn his music on. This usually calms him down and he loves his room. Thinking I had eliminated the catastrophe I tried to talk to Phil again. All the sudden here comes Maddie yelling for Mommy. I tell her where I am and she comes down the stairs.....I hear....Mommy babble babble babble Jack babble babble Katie babble babble babble babble Katie Jack. Phil and I just look at her.

Phil finally says, "Well which one is it Peanut, Katie or Jack?"

Maddie says, "I dunno?"

Phil says, "Why don't you go back upstairs till you figure it out?"

Maddie says, "OK"

She proceeds to climb back up the stairs. At this point I am trying to hold back a little bit of giggling. No more than 45 seconds later you hear the pitter patter of her feet coming back down the stairs.

Phil as serious as he can muster says, "You figure it out?"

Maddie claims, "yeah!"

Phil says, "go ahead....."

Patiently waiting for Maddie's explanation she says,"Jack babble babble babble Katie babble....."

I just busted out laughing and Phil tried not to laugh. I took Maddie up the stairs to see what was going on.

All I can say is Phil asked for it. When you talk to a less than 2 year old like she is 4 or 5 you never know what you will get. As for Maddie she thinks she is speaking in plain English and that everyone should understand her.

TTFN~

Happy Father's Day!!!!

To all the Dad's out there...........

I hope you have a GREAT Father's Day!!

To Phil.........

These three are the reason that you work so hard and I thank you for it. I hope you enjoy the day we have planned.

Happy Father's Day!!

Love,

Kaitlynn, Jackson and Madelynn

Local Scenery..........

Since Phil has been home so much more lately, not by his choosing, we have been using our aquatic center membership a whole lot more. We figured the membership expires at the end of the month and we aren't sure we can renew it we will get the most for our money. About 4 or 5 years ago the aquatic center built an outdoor water park that I love!!!

We have taken the kids to it so much lately that they just assume on the days they wake up and Phil is home that we will go. So I hear certain comments with the follow scenes I can't help but laugh and thought I would share.

"whimming mommy, go whimming Mommy"

"I got my sunscream on Mommy lets go."

(no this is not a typo)

"I got my goggles can we go already."

These are the days that I love my life and love how much my children make me laugh. Who needs vacations when you can have days like this.

TTFN~

Heart Families Dinner

So it is 4:30 in the afternoon and I am saying good night to the Business Manager before heading out the door. All of the sudden my alarm on my phone goes off. It is reminding me I need to be at the hospital in less than an hour through rush hour traffic. I am so glad I put in my calender I almost forgot.

I used to have to work myself up to go into the hospital to keep from losing it. I don't know why because Madelynn is doing well. But today it was easier. So I went the guest services desk to get my ID badge to volunteer. Once a month, the LCK families bring in dinner to share with the parents and other family of children in the CVICU. It gives the parents a few minutes to step away, get something to eat, talk to an adult that is not a nurse or doctor. I think it is a great idea and like to do it.

Well I waited and waited only to eventually discover that is was cancelled this evening and there was a communication error. But the hour I was at the hospital was not a total loss. I was able to talk to some of the nursing staff for just a few minutes. This is just a stellar group of people anyway, never a waste of time.

I waited in a hallway in case someone needed help carrying food (not knowing no one was coming) and I discovered many things.

-I discovered that my daughter is in a picture on the wall leading to the CVICU promoting the LCK kids support group with the help of the Child Life Specialists.

-I discovered that on a LCK Badge hanging on the wall both my daughter and my son wrote their name I could pick it out anywhere.

-I discovered that my friend who realized at Camp LuCK her daughter could write her name could write it long before camp as I saw her daughter's name on the wall with my children. (Yes Roxanne I am talking about your daughter).

Then I saw something that I remember like it was yesterday. I saw a mom and dad walking along side a crib as the child was being moved up from the CVICU (6th floor) to The Progressive Care (8th floor). This was one of the best days in the hospital. It means you are that much closer to taking your child home. You could see huge smiles on the parents faces. It's like your child won their first award.

Before I left the hospital I went up to the 8th floor just to make sure I hadn't missed the event on the wrong floor. Who should I be on the elevator with, the Mom gleaming with pride about her daughter moving to the 8th floor. I tried not to be too nosey but I learned she was 6 months old, born with three different heart defects and was recovering from her third and final surgery. I wished her well and headed back down the elevator.

As I pushed the button to go down I decided to head down to the chapel (on the second floor). I stopped in and wrote in the journal wishing the heart families well. I prayed for the health and well being of my own children and said a special prayer for that very, happy mom. Then I just took a minute to breathe in silence; and I went home.

This evening was not what I thought it would be and I could have gotten upset but mistakes happen and I learned a few things too.

What did you learn today???

TTFN~

A little bit of water and sunshine........

Stressed......I believe I have found a new low to being stressed. I was dreaming about the fact that Phil had not worked in four days and had only worked about 15 hours last week. I was dreaming about what creative ways I could come up with for work. However, none of this was a dream.....it was all very real.

Monday morning all of this dreaming, waking to a depressing reality all happened. I had been off for four days as part of my work schedule still getting all of hours in. Phil on the other hand has been home with me the whole time. Don't get me wrong I loving being with him and am so very glad he has been able to spend more time with the kids but it does not pay our bills.

I woke so upset and emotionally drained I did not want to eat, I just wanted to sleep it away. But I have three small children who should never know I am stressed or worried about anything. So I spent the morning watching, "Meet the Robinson's" with the kids. When it was over Phil looks at me and says, "OK everyone upstairs get your suits on we are going to the water park." I thought the kids would explode.

As part of our membership to the local aquatic center we get free admission to the attached water park. The more I thought about it......it is already paid for and expires at the end of June so we might as well use it. So off we went.

There were two BIG water slides. Jack went down one time but was really afraid and did not go back again. He decided to hang out with Maddie and I in the 2 foot section. It had it's own slides that Jack was not afraid of and he had a ball taking Maddie down the little slides. Katie begged Phil to take her down the big slides a few more times before they joined us in the 2 foot section.

I have to say I did not bring my camera but it was one of those pure joy moments. The rest of life just washed away for a little while and all I saw were three little kids that had HUGE smiles on their faces. Maddie jumped, splashed and squealed with joy as she bounced through the water. At one point as I was playing with her in the water I realized something.

She completely trusts me 110%. She knows I will not leave her, every jump in the water she completely trusts that I will never let go and every time she looks for me I am right there beside her, always. She had a freedom that most of us long for every day of our life.

Suddenly the light bulb went on......as I regularly need reminding.

I need to trust and believe in God during our struggle right now the way that Madelynn trusts and believes in me. Let God handle it.

At that moment at the pool, I just let go and savored the moment with all the smiles and sunshine raining down on us. About 1pm we left the pool. It took everything Maddie had to stay awake until she got home to eat her lunch. I don't even know if her eyes were still open when her head hit the pillow for nap. All of the kids laid down for awhile and I savored the silence.

When the kids woke up I remembered today was the first day of the summer program at the library. So I took Katie and Jack to the library. It had been a while so I made sure my library card was in good standing, I was issued a new one. Off we went to sign up for the summer reading and events program. I think we left the library with about 10 books and a schedule for the summer of all the free events the kids can attend.

So lets review...........we can go swimming as often as we want indoors or out through the end of June, the library has weekly events for the the kids age groups for free, in July Katie and Jack will go to daily summer camp for a week, more library events, we will celebrate Jack and Maddie's birthday's and Katie needs to work on a reading contest for the summer for school in the Fall.

All is not lost and that is what I need to focus on. Did I mention that someone called about a side job as we were leaving the rec center Monday. Also, after talking to my friend this morning and getting some encouragement, I got a call about a possible part time job for Phil. I don't know if any of these possibilities will turn into true work for Phil but for today I have to believe that God is in control and he will show us the way.

He brought us to this point today He will bring us through it to tomorrow and the next day and so on.

To my children..........Thank you for helping me to remember that the simple joy of swimming and sunshine truly do make it a better day..............

TTFN~

Sunday Funnies

It has been a while since I have posted some of these and I had a few happen in a row so here we go.......

The day before Phil's parents came to visit I went to the store. I did our monthly grocery shopping and also picked up a few extras for our house guests. One thing in particular was muenster cheese. It is truly one of Phil's dad's favorite snack. During the visit the kids tried it and really liked it and helped Papaw eat it.

While only going to the store once a month is ideal and saves us money, I always have to stop by the store after about two weeks to get bread, eggs and milk. I do not have enough storage space for the bread and eggs and the milk doesn't last a month. So yesterday since he behaved pretty well I asked Jack if he would like to go with me.

When Katie heard we were going to the store she asked if I would get more monster cheese. I told her no I wasn't going to that store and maybe in a few weeks I would get some more and just laughed. Just before we left Jack asked me again if we could get some more dinosaur cheese. Not sure how we went from Muenster to Dinosaur but it added a little humor to my day.

Everyone knows but know one talks about man time in the bathroom. I have a small bucket I keep magazines in and every once in a while I go by the dollar store and get a word search puzzle book. I have been filling this bucket for the past 11 years.

The other day Phil goes to the man bathroom to do his man business and I of the sudden I heard him yell, "You guys better leave my puzzle book alone!!!!!"

Later I find out that on one of the kids adventures to the man bathroom to do their own business one of them took a pen and scribbled through the words he was searching for which defeated the purpose of the challenge. He was so mad. I thought it was hilarious!!!!

My final funny comes from Miss Maddie. She is fascinated with the dishwasher. Every time I have the door open and leave it unattended for even a single second she is either crawling inside of it or closing it.

Today, I spent all day unloading it. I started before breakfast worked on it a little after breakfast and finished it before dinner. I kept getting pulled away doing other things, which is another blog. After dinner and some other things I finished folding laundry, watched a little TV and went back to finish all the dishes before bed.

This is what I found.................

Yes this is Maddie's Monkey in the dishwasher. I guess since the dishwasher was empty she just wanted me to know she was keeping an eye on the dishwasher. No, Monkey did not need a bath of course Maddie might speak of the contrary.

Have a Great Sunday!

TTFN~

Mom's secret power

So, I had to work a long day Wednesday and just could not wait to get home. I was just missing the kids and was just wanting to talk to Phil.

I walk in the door and there was pure silence.....................

I was so disappointed...................

There are no words to describe the pure joy of walking in the door to have three kids come running and yelling "Mommy". You know the scene everyone talking at once telling you their most important story of the day. All Mom's have that master skill that you can catch just enough of each story to know exactly what happen and Dad looks at you like 'How in the world did you do that?'

But today nothing.

So I asked Phil where the kids were and he said they were out playing in the backyard. He knew I was wondering if they were ok. He told me to relax he just checked on them and the dog is out there with them. I walk to the patio door and sure enough everyone was fine playing. After a quick chat with Phil I started dinner. I was still worried about them being outside so I went and checked on them again.

Ya know that master skill I just told you about above........well there is another one most of us share. If you feel like something is wrong it usually is.

A few weeks back I noticed a hole in the backyard where the dog had been digging. She must have been really upset with me because it was at least a foot and a half deep. It was out of the way and no one could get hurt by it so I left it alone. Well Jack found it.

That something wrong was Jack filling this hole with water, from the hose, and each one of the kids including Maddie taking turns jumping in the mud hole. However, Maddie is not quite three feet tall. So when she is jumping in the mud hole it is hard to tell if she is covered in mud or her diaper exploded. She had mud in her ears, hair, diaper. You name it I found mud in it.

Needless to say, Jack got in the most trouble for instigating it, then Katie for being the oldest and not coming to tell us what Jack had done. As for Maddie, here I am in my work clothes, I am trying to take her to the tub for a bath before dinner and she is hollering "hold you". Meaning she wants me to pick her up and she refused to walk up the stairs. I had to carry her up the stairs by her hands swinging her hoping she wouldn't get mud on my good clothes.

In case you needed a visual.................

Yes, the dog needed to get in the picture too. She just walked right in the picture as I snapped it. I guess she did want Jack to get all the blame.

As you can see the kids got baths before dinner instead of after Wednesday evening.

Happy Thursday!!

TTFN~

Goodbye kindergarten.........Hello Summertime!

Dear Kaitlynn,
Tomorrow is your last day of Kindergarten. There are not enough words to tell you how proud I am of you. I can count on one hand the amount of days you missed. It would take more than my fingers and toes to count all the compliments I received about you this year. Your teacher Mrs. Skeen and her aid Mrs. Kiker they could not say enough nice things about you.

Every Friday I would check your backpack and find hoards of art work, math, spelling and projects you had done. I believe my favorite it is when you would draw pictures of our family and the most recent ones included pictures of Cami.

This year was a long road for you and me. The days I would want to cry because you wanted to stay home, like Jack, and I wouldn't let you. Or you would want to know why 'So and So's' mom did this and why didn't I do that. I would hate it knowing you went to bed early getting 9 or 10 hours of sleep and in the morning begging me to let you sleep longer and I had to force you out of bed. On the few days daddy was able to take you to school you would break his heart. He would have given anything for the two of you to play hookie and go fishing.

Well my dear all of your hard work paid off. You will be going off to the first grade. Not only that, but all of the skills needed to complete kindergarten and move on you completed in March. You are one smart little cookie. You can read and write and you can even add. You took computer class and Spanish class. I can tell you I didn't do those things in kindergarten.

So as you start your first official summer break I wish you lots of mornings of sleeping in, nights you get to stay up late, trips to the park, swimming at the rec center and even an occasional trip to the library. I know the library sounds kind of boring but you and Jack have more books than almost all of your toys combined.

Lucky for you your first official day of summer break is my day off so maybe, just maybe, we won't even get out of our pj's that day. I have said this before and it will always be true you are my greatest joy and I can not wait to find fun things to do on your summer break.

Hugs and kisses~

Love, Mom

TTFN~

Let God worry about tomorrow........

So I have said very little about it but lately somethings in life have been very tough to take. Work is slow for Phil which means no money coming in. Medical bills just never seem to go away. Some days in the quiet of my car on my long ride to work I sit and cry mostly from worry.

On the really busy times it would have been nice for Phil to come to a doctor visit for Maddie. However, he doesn't work for three days and the one day I would have wanted him to be off he has to work. In the craziness of this past weekend we saw each other in passing. Which makes me miss just vegging on the couch with him. As the kids age the time will come again.

However, over the last 24 hours I have been reminded that our situation could always be worse, if you ask and are willing to accept it on His terms God will always provide and not to ever overlook the smile or hug of a child. One day they will think they are too old for it.

We could have been one of those families who lost their home, a family member or their life was just turned upside down from the mid west tornadoes. I could be a single mom caring for a mentally challenged son and my power is about to be cut off. We could be the family that lost one child to a CHD and two months later the other child dies from meningitis. So yes my life could always be so much worse. All true stories by the way.

So today I am thankful for my job, family, children and glorious friends. Some how we will find a way to pay the medical bills and be happy with what is in front of us. I will remember to kiss my children every night as I pray over them for God's protection and peaceful sleep. I will remember to be happy they are alive when they wake me at 6am ready to start the day and I feel like I need toothpicks to hold my eyes lids open. I will just be thankful for today and let God worry about tomorrow.

Hope your Monday was uneventful.

TTFN~

I thought May was bad............

At the beginning of May when I looked at the calender I thought...."Oh this is going to be one crazy month" I think this weekend I just topped it.

Friday morning I got Katie off to school, fed Jack and Maddie breakfast, dropped Jack off and Linda's (Katie's godmother) and headed up the highway for the 70+ mile trip to Maddie's specialist. About 2/3 of the way there I smelled sour fruit. I turned around and Maddie had just vomited her entire breakfast in the car seat.

The ride to the specialist from my house is on a two lane country road with almost no side road to pull over (farm country). It is a beautiful ride and usually look forward to it but today is not one of them. When I finally got to the Children's Hospital parking lot I cleaned her up; changed her clothes, wiped her face and hands, wiped out the care seat all the usual suspects in a car vomiting. Luckily, most of it went down the front of her and not in the car seat itself.

When we get into the office for the appointment Maddie is all smiles and ready to show everyone who's boss. When I told the nurse I needed to strip Maddie and put a clean diaper on her she looked at me and said that is not how we weigh the children here. I explained to her that is how the pediatrician and nutritionist weighs her and that is how we need her weighed today. Before I could explain what had been happening to Maddie and why we need the weight done the same as the others she tells me again that is not how we weigh the children here.

After what I had already experienced this morning I just looked at her and said if you would like I can call the pediatrician and make them insist you weigh her the same as the others or you can take my word for it. At this point I took my phone out and proceeded to start dialing. Irritated she said we have to go in a room first then come back out. As I took Maddie's clothes off and she saw the faded scar she never said another word. She was also very nice to us. What kills me is that if she would had looked in the chart before she assumed I was just being difficult all of that could have been avoided.

When I put Maddie on the baby scale I closed my eyes......................as I opened one of them I saw 22.00. I just threw my arms up in the air and said, "YES!!!" Thank you for all of you who are praying for her still.

In case you were wondering unless Maddie shows signs of struggling to breathe for any reason she can stay off ALL the meds.

So, I head back home and have to get my stuff to my friends house as we are having a garage sale Saturday morning. So here I am all three kids at my friends house trying to get everything ready for the garage sale. I must be a gluten for punishment.

All the sudden Jack is screaming..........you know the scream as soon as you hear it you better come running. Jack was scratched by my friends cat who has feline aids. I take Jack in the bathroom my friend is on the phone to the vet. Feline aids is not like regular aids and can not be passed from feline to human. However, other things can be and he should see a doctor. Not sure what to do I look at Jack's arm and it is swelling and looks odd and is really red.

I drop Katie and Maddie off to Phil and Jack, my friend and myself head to the Urgent Care. I was reminded by my mother that Jack is also allergic to cats. Because we no longer have the cats, Jack takes a daily medicine for the allergy and has never had a problem with her cat I kind of forgot about it.

Thankfully the Urgent Care was practically empty we were able to get in and see a doctor fairly quickly. Jack will be fine. Because of the redness to his arm he was treated for cat scratch fever (yes there really is such a thing) and we left. I dropped Jack off to Phil and have to get back to my friends because we are now really behind.

We get everything done get something to eat and I finally crash at about 1 am. I set my alarm for 4:30am so I could get a shower and be ready to greet people at 7am. Needless to say the shower helped.

Did I mentioned I agreed to volunteer at the hospital for four hours Saturday too. So my mom comes and helps out at the garage sale so I can leave at 12:00 to be at the hospital by one to volunteer. This event I volunteered for is called "Heart of a Champion". It is a day where upcoming 10th, 11th and 12th graders get a review (like a physical) but their heart is also checked via an echo. It is a huge event and free to the athlete. I haven't heard a total yet but it was probably close to 1700 students.

So for 4+ hours I stood at the very end of the review to find out what color paper each female athlete received before they could exit the building and recorded it. Sounds pretty boring but it wasn't I met Thomas Davis from the Carolina Panthers, chatted with some of the nurses who cared for Maddie after surgery, made new connections to help the hospital out further. Over all it was a good afternoon. I left the hospital about 5:40pm

But my day was not over. I still had to go back to my friends house, get my unsold stuff and then get home. I walked in the door about 7:30pm. I was so exhausted by the time I ate dinner and visited with the kids and put them to bed I couldn't sleep. I think I finally died about 11:45pm. Thankfully the kids slept till 7:30.

I was so grateful Phil took care of the kids during this busy time and they were all in one piece once I finally got to hang out with them. However my house was in desperate need of some TLC. I worked on it some after breakfast but by lunchtime I was exhausted again. After lunch I made all of the kids "rest" including Mommy. Yes I successfully had all three kids napping at the same time and took a nap too. In case you were wondering Phil had to do a little work for a friend and was gone until about 5pm today.

Feeling much better after nap time I finished up the house, started dinner on the grill, kids got showers and currently every one in the house is sleeping but me and it isn't even 10pm yet.

I think I will get a little ice cream before I head off to bed.

Hoping to have a quiet week.

TTFN~

Trek to the Children's Hospital

Friday we are headed to the pediatric pulmonologist to find out about Madelynn's trial run. Back in February when Madelynn had a check up the doctor decided to let Madelynn take two more weeks of breathing treatments and then told us to stop them. So as of the last week of February she has not had a breathing treatment.

Phil and I talked about it and always thought she would be ok with out the treatments but you just never know. There are times when I can look at Madelynn and tell you something is really wrong. Being her mom I just knew. Other times I hoped for things for her and hoped them so long and so hard that when they didn't come true I felt I had failed her in some way.

I believe that tomorrow's visit will just be a confirmation that for now we can just go on and live a normal life of a family of six (don't forget Cami). Over the last few weeks that realization is starting to sink in. I am still cautious with germs and who we are around but in some cases I feel like a RECOVERED heart family. Madelynn's biggest hurdles after her heart surgery was not her heart it was all the other things that went wrong.

Some days my mind wanders about all the possibilities of what could go wrong. You see with the heart anything can go wrong and everything can go right. Right now were are at the everything can go right. Since I discovered about two weeks ago that Madelynn lost a pound in less than 5 days she has started eating. Right after Camp LuCK she really started to put some food down and asking for food. Which are all good signs. We will get a weight tomorrow and I can't wait to see what it is. My hope is for a small victory. I would be happy just to see that she put that pound back on and ecstatic if she weighed more 21lbs 6oz.

Sometimes I worry when I see her running, playing, jumping, giggling that I will forget what to look for in case something goes wrong. I also hear stories of children that only lived for 5, 6 or 10 years and then they are gone. To me that is like some kind of cruel joke. Your children are supposed to live beyond you and bury you. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. I just worry the way her aorta is designed it will not be able to withstand her growing and adult body.

You see I have said before that Madelynn's CHD is a very common one. It is so common in fact that it is not usually repaired with open heart surgery. It is done with a less invasive surgery through he armpit. There are also diagrams of her defect that when the repair is done the surgeon just checks the box as to which one the child had. Madelynn's surgeon had to draw a picture of her aorta and there is no way to know if the design of her aorta will be able to withstand her adult body because it needed an "extended" repair.

Although I have been told sometimes it is a very dangerous thing............all we can do is Hope. Hope that she is able to live a normal life. Hope that this journey in a few years will all be a memory. Hope that if her heart can not withstand her growing body that by the time it needs some type of repair the tools and knowledge are available to save her. Hope that she will live life to the fullest. Hope that she will not squander this second chance. Hope that whatever the reason she was chosen to be on this earth that one day I understand why. Hope just because sometimes it is the only thing that gives us peace.

So today I will laugh, smile and play with Madelynn, I will cheer Kaitlynn as she finishes kindergarten next week and I will help Jack understand "Why" and not just because Mommy said so.

It will be a busy weekend I will post results of the visit sometime this weekend.

TTFN~