4 years ago today.......

Four years ago today depending on when you are reading this was one of the worst days in my life.

At 8 am I was walking my daughter down to the surgery floor so she could be prepped for open heart surgery.

At 9:30 am I surrendered my daughter to the surgeon so the lengthy procedure could begin.

For the next 6-7 hours we waited and waited and waited some more for the surgeon to finally tell us he was done and what the results were.

Some time between 5 and 6pm we were finally able to see her. Something never in my wildest dreams was I prepared for. It took ever ounce of my being to stand there hoping and praying she would survive.

Today we had great plans to help Madelynn celebrate her "Heart" Birthday. I found this WONDERFUL children's book called Zip-Line. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who has a child that has had open-heart surgery. I was going to come into Madelynn's pre-school class, read the book and share heart cookies. Madelynn was sooooooo excited when she saw the book.

Due to the unfortunate circumstance with the death of Phil's brother we needed to travel to Indiana to say farewell. I have already spoken to Madelynn's teachers and we will be celebrating Madelynn's "Heart" Birthday with her classmates a week late. However, we as a family will be together which is what is most important.

I have shared with you some new pictures of Kaitlynn and Jackson for my upcoming picture project. I saved my pictures of Madelynn for today.

 

 

 

 

I am not going to lie that smile melts my heart EVERY time. We are so incredible blessed that Madelynn's result was not something different.

People ask me all the time, "Aren't you sad Madelynn will be going off to kindergarten next year." My response is always the same. "No, because there was a time I wasn't sure Madelynn would be able to attend kindergarten. Each day is a gift that at one time we never thought we would have."

So today we share our joy of Madelynn with you. We encourage you to celebrate your children. There are so many families with children with congenital heart defects (chd) that don't live as long as Madelynn or do not have the wonderful prognosis she has. We are very lucky and truly appreciate the gift beyond measure.

TTFN~

Jason......9.9.1970 - 10.25.2012

Thursday I received a call from both Phil's mom and brother, Jon, that Jason one of Phil's other brothers had died in a terrible, tragic work accident. According to a news story he slipped and fell 3 stories, from an attic area where he was working on the property.

I immediately called Phil because no one could reach him. It truly was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Phil is having difficulty accepting things right now. We came to Indiana so Phil can mourn with his family and celebrate Jason's life.

In honoring Jason's life we have done things, we believe, Jason would have wanted. Saturday Night we gathered at Jason and Franka's house and watched the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame take on the Oklahoma Sooners in Oklahoma.  Being a Fighting Irish fan was in their blood. Jason's brothers and son's came together, but it was very clear there was something missing. Without  a doubt, there was a void that no one will ever be able to fill.

Whether it be the empty chair no one wanted to sit in, or the missing tone in the choir of laughter when all the brothers are together the emptiness was deafening. In a few hours droves of people will come to pay their respects to Jason and his family. My heart aches for not only my husband as he he tries to process this senseless accident but for all of those left behind in this tragedy.

I managed to find a few pictures from when Jason was very young and all the wedding photos I took back in 2009 when Jason married Franka. The school pictures were very sweet as they were of days long past. As I looked through the wedding photos, it was the happiest I had ever seen Jason and the smiles were genuine. It was very clear he had finally found true happiness with Franka.

My only hope is that eventually those hurting from this horrible turn of events find some type of peace in Jason's passing. It is not going to be an easy road, but again I can hope wounds are healed and harmony can be found.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RIP Jason.......

TTFN~

Photo Project Part 2.......

While working on my picture project I took these pictures of Jackson. He loves 'BOB', our tree in the backyard. Every time he steps out back I find him on a swing hanging from the tree or in the tree. One of the best investments we have ever made.

 

Jackson had a rough adjustment to second grade. However after I talked to his teacher she was very impressed how well he was now adjusting. Today he brought me his most recent Math and Spelling Test both had a grade of 100%.

 

For the last two to three weeks he has been complaining that his legs hurt. I thought maybe it was due to soccer and building those leg muscles. Then  the other day he passed Kaitlynn and he looked taller than she. So for fun I had Phil measure Jackson. He has grown almost an inch in about 60 days. To me that seems like alot.

 

I like all the pictures but the last one is my favorite and the one that most exudes his personality.

 

Can't wait to get this picture project finished.

 

 

I found Opie Taylor in the tree.

 

I do love his smile...

 

TTFN~

Photo project Part 1......

I have posted photos of the Living Room even though I had not finish hanging the last of my prints. The Dining Room is finished but I have a photo project I have been working on and will not post Dining Room photos until I finish it. However, I thought I would share some of the potential photos. These are a few of Kaitlynn.

 

She has been doing very well. Her first report card that has real grades instead of  N, P, S's was pretty good. She only gets graded for Language Arts, Math, Social Studies and Science receiving all B's and a C respectively. I was really bummed because she was just points away from A's and B's to make the Honor Roll. Hoping we have given her something to work for. She is still taking her Global Kids class (like an AIG prep class) and loves it.

 

She will finish the soccer season this Saturday; she has been fun to watch. Basketball season doesn't start until January (yes, she asked to play basketball) but she will have Brownies to keep her busy. I will have to post a picture of her with her vest on.

 

Enjoy the photos.....

She loves hanging from the tree.

I love to hear her laugh.

This photo truly represents her.

 

Laughter is always the best medicine.

TTFN~                                                                                                                                                                                             

The Finished Product........

Look closely this is the GOD AWFUL acoustic (popcorn) ceiling.



This is my new B-E-A-U-tiful smooth painted ceiling.

Sunday, September 16th as Phil's sister was driving out of our neighborhood, I was taking everything out of the living room. For the next two weeks, we scraped and sanded the ceiling to prepare it to paint. We painted the ceiling and walls. I painted inside the windows while Phil framed in the windows. We mounted stone on the wall. We found a sawmill, picked out a cedar tree, had it planed down and sealed it. We washed the floors and baseboards. Finally, we moved the furniture back in Wednesday September 26th. Just in time to pick Phil's step-mom up from the airport Friday.

I LOVE this mantle, solid cedar, 8ft long, pure beauty.

This stone wall was almost the death of me. I love it but would not do it ourselves again.

This dresser/buffet will be repainted in the months to come to match the living room.

There is art missing from the wall behind the sofa. It will be mounted in the coming weeks.

It will be so much better when my prints are back on the wall.

I LOVE the framed windows. This was a last minute addition.



This family tree is one of my favorite things after
the mantle and stone wall of course.

This living room update was long over due. There are not enough words to tell you how much I love it. Everyday when I come home I feel like we scrapped all old ugliness away. I was so pleased with the finished product, the Monday we took Phil's step-mom back to the airport I jumped on the dining room. We still have to frame in the dining room window and I have a photo display to finish. Once these are done I will share dining room photos too.

Phil was very burned out once the dining room was finished. We decided to take a break and start again after Christmas.

Throughout this process I have learned several things. Most days Phil and I work very well together. I laughed and joked and smiled more. I won't lie a few of those days I was very stressed and overwhelmed. What I learned about myself was to step back, regroup and work on what I was good at. Every time I did that I suddenly turned around and more and more or the room was coming together.

If you ask the kids what they remember.....eating meals on the floor in the hallway and living room, helping mommy wash the floor and baseboards and living in the upstairs of the house for two weeks.

For all the memories we created, I hope the new rooms create many more.....

TTFN~

Matriarch

Matriarch - A highly respected women who is a mother.

Last week I headed to a funeral home to pay my respects to a woman who lived and breathed the true definition of a matriarch. She was a mother of four and grandmother of 11(I think).

When I pulled into the parking lot I was amazed the only place to park was patches of grass on the side. I was greeted by her husband and he had a smile on his face. Then it was like I suddenly fell into a time warp, slide show and photos everywhere. You literally watched her children and grandchildren grow up in photos; her whole life right there in front off you.

As I talked to friends and family, she had spent her last days suffering and was ready to meet the Lord at the front gate. Before she went she spent time planning her funeral. She wanted everything to be just right. She didn't wanted those that loved and knew her to be grieving she was gone; she wanted them celebrating how she lived. She and her eldest son shared the joy of music. The next day he would be singing a final farewell to his mother. Just the thought of every ounce of love that will pour out of that song makes me cry.

The woman and her husband were married 52 years. Thinking about the more than half a century she ran the house, reared the children and stood by her husband in every hill and valley they travelled, how do you go on. To be together that long is one of the truest forms of respect. I know that a part of him died that faithful day with her.

A long time family friend told me that the the son she shared the joy of music with, could not get it right with his father. They seemed to argue and not connect on so many levels. As she fought her battle to live with an ugly disease, the father and son finally made their way back to each other. Even in her death she found a way to bring them together. So much so the father walks into the family business, the son helps run, and says (no matter who is around), "Good Morning Son, I love you." It took an amazing woman to remind her strong willed, set in his ways husband no matter what tell your children you love them.

When I left the funeral home, I was just shaking my head. As a mother of three, one day I will be that person. To hold this position in a family are pretty big shoes to fill and not everyone is cut out for it and can do it well. Will my husband think as highly of me as this husband thought of his wife? Will my children trust and respect me, the way this family did? When my family celebrates my life will they really celebrate it or just be glad I am gone?

The whole evening just made me think about my life and what I want my children to learn and take away from it. What things do I want them to carry with them to their children. Sometimes we get so buried in day to day life we forget all the little things we do make a difference. The things we think are irrelevant will be the one silly little fact our child remembers.

To all the mother's out there, one day you will hold this highest position. It won't matter the position you hold if you don't earn it along the way. Thank you Mrs. Anne for the reminder that every minute of every hour of everyday we are striving to teach our children the very best in life is what we make of it as we live it.

TTFN~