Spring time weather

We were very lucky to experience some wonderful spring time weather Sunday. I think we reached 70 degrees. The doors were open and breeze was blowing I couldn't have asked for a better day. I was able to take a few pictures of the kids while they played outside.

A few years ago Phil made two swings to hang from "Bob" (the oak tree). We did not know what kind of tree it was when we planted it 12 years ago, so we named it "Bob". The kids love the swings and run to them as soon as we tell them they can go outside.

After Sunday's weather, I have the worst case of Spring fever.

My girls

My little man

(my new favorite picture of him)

TTFN~

Time for a little catch up....

Between Kaitlynn's birthday in December and Christmas presents I promised to take pictures of gifts and post them and I have not.....Bad Mommy!

So first we have a picture of Madelynn in her gingerbread nightgown a Christmas present from Grandma Bacho.

Then throughout her birthday and Christmas, Kaitlynn received lots of Tinkerbell goodies. When I asked Kaitlynn what she wanted for her birthday and Christmas she explained her room needed more purple in it and that Tinkerbell items could do that.

As you can see she received Tinkerbell wall art, comforter, sheets and blanket for her bed. Since all of these gifts it is never an issue to get her to go to bed. Thanks Grandma Bacho and Uncle Ted. As strange as it sounds she sleeps better. Not sure if the two are related but whatever works for a better night sleep.

TTFN~

39 is not old....

Do I feel old???? The simple answer...No.

My daughter asked me if 39 feels different than 38. When I told her No, she asked are you sure??? Phil has been cracking jokes all day about me being his old lady. Since he is 4 years younger he thinks he's pretty funny. Then I was reminded that next year I officially become a cougar because of Phil's age. Today was a lot of good, silly laughs.

My blackberry (early birthday present) started chirping at 5:15 this morning. Thanks Justine even that early it made me smile. Of course best friends always want to be the first to send birthday wishes. My phone never stopped it was alot of nice interruptions. As I am typing it is still chirping.

Maddie sang Happy Birthday to me about six times with pretend cakes she build out of blocks. Katie and Jack thoroughly enjoyed the double chocolate ice cream cake Phil brought home. It was Yummy!!!

39 years......It makes me wonder if I am really living life the way I was meant to. Like any person, my life is filled with mistakes and scars. But those memories do not control my life. When I finally made that decision I have been happier than I ever thought possible. Let me assure you it is not because my life is easy or because I won the lottery. It is because my life is surrounded by family and friends that have been there for ever smile, burst of laughter, tears of joy and those of pure fear.

I am grateful for the friendships from those dating all the way back to kindergarten, that began the first day of high school, developed from former jobs or that came from life changing experiences. I am not the same person because of it and I like the person I am becoming.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful, sweet and even some silly birthday wishes. It truly helped make my birthday complete.

TTFN~

Weight Update.....

Yes, I know I should have posted the update Friday when we returned from the Doctor but everyday life just took over plus a few extra things.

So Madelynn's big # was 25.6 lbs. YES!! she did it. She is finally over 25 lbs. There was such a feeling of relief.

But I also checked my chart for her height and weight and she actually dropped in percentile's for her height and weight. So I wasn't quite sure how to feel and if it truly was victory.

Accentuating the positive, she is eating more food than ever before and actually asking for specific food and eating all of it when served to her. The other day I fed her breakfast and hour later she asked for a piece of toast. Before I could ask her she handed me a plate with just the crusts on it. She did the same thing with her peanut butter sandwich for lunch.

We are also really working on meats and potatoes. Up until recently the only meat Madelynn would eat was chicken and 95% of that must be in nugget form. However, as stressful as it is to work with her at the table sometimes, she is now eating pork chops and unbreaded chicken. I can usually sneak in a little ground beef with spaghetti. So we are making progress.

When we visited the doctor for her 2 year check up in August he was just sure she would suddenly turn a corner and just start eating like never before. As my hopes to that theory were dashed again, I am still waiting for that day.

If you see her, talk and interact with her you would NEVER believe the journey she is on. Everyday when I see her eat scrambled eggs, cinnamon toast, yogurt and milk for breakfast she gives me hope. If I could just slow down the motion and calorie burn just for a little while.

During lunch the other day I noticed something that made me smile. In the recovery room and the days following surgery with all of the wires and tubes attached to her, I was afraid to touch her. Her feet were the first to be free of extra appendages so I found myself rubbing her feet so she could feel my touch. As this went on, when I would walk in the room and talk before I could get too her bed I could see her feet moving. When I pick her up from school she has to wait for me to get down the hall she is jumping up and down. When she and I were having lunch the other day, we were talking and eating. I happened to glance under the table and she is wiggling her feet just like the days in the hospital.

Everyone says, "No wonder she doesn't gain weight, she burns it off almost as fast as she puts in." She truly is that body in motion that stays in motion.

So for now I will put my leery feelings away in a room and lock the door. If I continue the tunnel vision of her weight gain I would miss so much.....meals would be horrid and stressful, tears and screams would in sue or she would hate meal time. I want none of that.

I will be Thankful for my miracle, praise God for every day I have with all three of my children and let God show me when it is time to open that door again, but not today.

Happy for 25.6 lbs!!!!

TTFN~

Weight check.....

A few months back I met with a new nutritionist for Madelynn. I was very excited about all the information that she shared with me and made some changes to Madelynn's diet. It has really been a work in progress. In the last few months I have been able to get her to eat beef, pork, chicken (not in the form of a nugget), she loves Trader Joe's Potato Tots (yummy), most vegetables and every fruit she has every tried.

I know she is growing taller and it seems like she has gained a little bit of weight but I am so afraid to take her for a weight check. Her last weight check she wasn't quite 24 1/2 lbs. She has been 24 lbs forever. The other day she stood on the scale at home fully clothed shoes and all and it still said 24lbs. I wanted to cry because I feel like I am still failing her.

But the other day Phil was playing with her and made a comment that today she seemed different. Almost like he was just sure she would be over 25lbs. I knew he was going to say it and I didn't want to hear the words...."Why don't you take her for a weight check Friday?"

My first thought was ...."You did it you said the horrible words I don't want to hear....WEIGHT CHECK." I LOATHE, no really LOATHE weight checks. I see her growing and changing and becoming so independent every day I hear, "No Mommy I do it by MY self." I step back and watch her do it with pure joy.

But then the reality check of the scale to see how much she weighs always knocks me down. I want to know but I don't want to know. To have a have a 2 1/2 year old still not even weigh 25 lbs would really knock me to my knees. So tomorrow I am going to bite the bullet and take her to the doctor for a weight check.

I need some positive news so here is hoping the weight is 25.somthing....I do not want to see 24.something ever again.

TTFN~

Trying to process the mess

It seems like ever since we came back from our trip at Thanksgiving I am in my very own personal hurricane. I feel like I am just no stop spinning, stick my head out to take a breathe and back into the whirlwind I go. I let the last eight weeks of events control my life and it is now time to let it go.

While trying to celebrate my oldest child's 7th birthday we were informed that one of the Heart Children we have known since joining LCK in November 2008 passed away. This amazing young man was the epitome of this group. Seeing him "really living life" gave moms like me hope that my child could have this same type full life experience. When he died it reminded me how precious life is and not to take a second of it for granted.

But I am not going lie....I was really scared. Seeing this young man, you did not know how sick he really was. Seeing my daughter even on the day before her surgery it still amazes me that she should have died. But today as she runs into pre-school and she seems totally fine, how do I know the difference between those two days is she fine or not. Some days the stress eats me alive.

The last few weeks were not what I expected or hoped for either. It has been really sad, depressing and oddly lacking in laughter. I was very sadden by the death of my best friends father. I didn't have any really spectacular words to help ease her pain except to tell her that I loved her and I would see her soon. Oh how I wanted to help take some of her pain away.

In the same week I was informed that someone I knew from my last job passed away in his sleep at the ripe old age of 27. I just kind of looked up at the sky and asked God...'Are you kidding me?!?!?!' What appears to be a normal healthy male goes to sleep not feeling well and dies. I can't imagine what his parents are going through or his friends, I know, that found him the next morning.

While this is going on we have a snow storm one Sunday evening followed by ice the following evening and Katie and Jack missed four days of school, went to school on a two hour delay Friday and then they were out for a three day weekend for MLK Holiday. By Thursday of this adventure, I told Phil I needed to go to work or I was going to lose my mind. So he stayed home with the kids and I went to work.

The last eight weeks I have really felt beaten down and defeated and I want out of this rut. It has really been a struggle too. However, I am finding joy in old and new places. This is a new year and I refuse to take the heartbreak and sadness with me into the new year. One of the things that I have done is not worry about the stuff that will always be there. The dishes, dusting and laundry will always be there. But my parents, husband, friends and children may not. So everyday after school homework gets done, rooms are cleaned and we eat dinner as a family. Even if Phil has to work late the rest of us are still at the dining room table with his place left ready in case he makes it home to join us.

The kids are back in swimming lessons and it is as if the lessons never stopped. Lessons are longer and later than before so when we get home it is showers and to bed. Non swim lessons night, dinner and dishes are done by 6:30 so I can do anything or nothing with the kids. Jackson asked me to change his room around the way he wanted. I thought why not what would it really hurt. Since I did it, his room is clean EVERY day.

Back during the snow storm when the snow came down in HUGE flakes for hours I stood in the snow in my pajamas, wearing Phil's shoes and coat and took pictures. I wish I would have taken video of Phil bouncing Katie and Jack on the trampoline in the snow. The flying snow and all of the giggling would wash any tear away at least for a little while.

So going forward, I am going to find something to laugh out loud about everyday. I am not going to get frustrated when I have to wait for Maddie to blow Katie and Jack kisses as they walk into school. I am going to remember that every hug, kiss and 'I love you' matter and don't take them for granted. I am going to find someone to pass my positive energy to everyday even if they don't wanted.

Don't get me wrong I will still worry about Maddie and some days worry too much about what could be. Will Jackson mature fast enough to accomplish kindergarten and will Katie figure out how to get along with her classmates and not get into so much trouble. I am still going to get frustrated with my kids and need that few minutes of complete silence where someone isn't yelling Mommy 24/7/365. But my goal is to make those events less and less the center of everyday life.

My hope is that throughout the year I always find something to hope for to bring better balance in my life.

TTFN~

RIP Mr. Brett....

This fall will be 25 years since I met my very best friend. There are some days I don't know what I would do without her. Today she mourns the loss of her father and what I wouldn't give to take some of her pain away. She called me twice today once to tell me that he would be gone soon and once to tell me he was gone. I would have done anything to be there to help her along the way.

Back during Thanksgiving I had the glorious gift to visit with her and her family. I knew when I left that it would be the last time I would see him. But what I remember most about that visit was just sitting and talking to him like it was 1987, the genuine hug he gave when I first arrived and when I left. I watched him read books to my son and thought what a sweet memory.

When I came home from work today I needed to find something. I ripped through 25 years of photos to find them but they are the only pictures I ever took of my friend's parents. Her mother passed away years ago and today her father went to join her. These are photos of the day before she left for the Navy and the surprise party we threw for her (with her parents help) to wish her well. It would be the last time I would see her for a very long time. I had no idea today they would be such a treasured memory.

The Farewell Party

The NDA Girls

One Final Good-Bye, Go Navy!!

Mrs. Brett loved her sense of humor

Mr. Brett, Justine, Me and my friend Brandon

Mr. Brett, Justine, Me and Brandon

Farewell Justin Brett. Thank you for raising such an amazing daughter with such a huge heart. Hoping my friend finds peace in his passing knowing her parents are now together again. Love and miss you Justine!!

TTFN~

Snow Storm 2011

Well we weren't really sure if the storm would come but boy were we wrong. As I type the snow has stopped and the freezing rain has come. Katie and Jack's school is already closed and Phil is not working Tuesday. We are still waiting to see if Maddie's pre-school is open and if I am working.

Around lunch time we got the kids ready to go out one at a time so that everyone was warm enough. Maddie went out first, then Jack and finally Katie. The kids were soaked when we brought them in but I am not sure if the enjoyed the snow ball fight, snow angels or the turning into a snow flake by daddy launching with the trampoline. However, I did learn that Cami loved it; she couldn't stop running in it.

It was cold and wet but I think they had a really fun time. Enjoy the pictures....

TTFN~