Saturday, December 24, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas....Day 12


"For unto you is born this day
in the City of David a Savior,
which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you,
you shall find the babe
wrapped in swaddling clothes
lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was an angel
a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
'GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST,
AND ON EARTH PEACE, GOODWILL TOWARD MEN'

That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."

I truly hope everyone finds peace this Christmas and never forgets what we are celebrating.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

TTFN~

Friday, December 23, 2011

My 12 Days of Christmas...Day 11

Well the last of my Christmas shopping is done and my presents are wrapped. The family and friend visits are about to begin and the next few days are going to be a huge blur. The days will be filled with good food, great company, lots of laughter and tons of smiles. It truly is the best time of year.

At least for us this year it will be; it hasn't always been that way. Three years ago on Christmas Day I was sitting in the Emergency Room with Madelynn on the verge of losing it completely. Not quite eight weeks after surgery Madelynn still was not eating and I felt like I was watching her die. She weighed less than before surgery and almost every bottle she ate she threw it back up.

I was completely at a loss on how to help her and I told Phil I was taking her back to the hospital. This was her third visit in less than eight weeks. Talk about a dark day.

A few weeks after that day Madelynn finally started to turn around and we were making the long road back to normal, whatever that is. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not ecstatic she survived and I don't kiss her at least ten times.

As you start rushing through your day, holiday weekend and through the next week in your 'normal' life please remember those families who have children in the hospital. If you have had the luxury of never taking your child to the emergency room much less experiencing long hospital stays you have no idea the strength it requires some days just to remember to breath.

Please pray for those families, the health of their children, that they find peace in their journey and what ever answers they are searching for from God, He reveals it to them. Treasure every minute of your time with you family and friends.

TTFN~

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My 12 Days of Christmas...Day 10

When I discovered Day 10's topic I was really excited. I wasn't sure why it came to me for today but it did. Then the more I thought about it I almost talked myself out of writing about it. I didn't really have a great story to tie it to Christmas. That was until I read a comment from a friend.

As my 12 days of Christmas is creeping to an end you always 'end ' with a friend. So today I am celebrating Friends!!! I'm not going to deny that family is important because it reminds you of who you are and your history. However, friends are a different kind of family. Friends trudge that road with you everyday, learn everything about you sometimes things that even your family doesn't know and love you just as much as family.

Friends help you celebrate those huge lifetime highs....the day you graduated, the day you were married, the day your children were born and sometimes other very special days. They even help you see the light at the end of the tunnel on your darkest days. We all know those types of days. No one's darkest days are ever the same and hardly ever come about the same way. Friends are the ones who help you bury your parents, they are also the ones that keep you together when your child could have died.

My best friend has a HUGE heart and ALWAYS puts others first. When we met in high school we discovered our birthday's were only a week apart. As long as I can remember, my friend always gave me my birthday present on her birthday except once. That one time is probably the birthday I will remember most.

When my best friend entered the NAVY she was going to be away on our Birthdays. That first year she was gone I was really sad. I remember working that day when around the corner came her parents. They brought me a present, a card, a giant cookie and lots of hugs. Her mom has been gone a few years now and her father passed away this year. It is a special memory I will treasure forever.

I am grateful that God made our paths cross back in the Fall of 1986 and through all the moving, military, getting married and having kids we still make time to see each other at least once a year. She is that one friend that no matter the amount of time between calls or visits it is ALWAYS like I just talked to her yesterday.

As you share in the Birth of Christ and celebrate with your families don't forget those friend members who are just as important as family. The comment from my friend was, "I have really enjoyed reading these everyday." That alone made my 12 days of Christmas blogging worth it.

TTFN~

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 9

I was once told that my Grandmother Caroline could take a peice of ribbon, carefully fold it over back and forth and convert a simple ribbon into a beautiful bow. To listen to my dad tell that story it was like he watched her do it yesterday, even though she has been gone a long time. I am guessing she had a few creative genes up her sleeve. In college I started working at a flower shop and I loved it. One of  the first things they teach you is how to convert a simple ribbon into a fantastic presentation of a bow.

I never knew what a difference it made until I saw the reactions of the people I made it for.

For most people, wrapping presents is a chore and too time consuming, it is my favorite part. Picking just the right paper to match the bow is the present that everyone wants to know what is in it because it catches their eye. I always buy paper and ribbon after Christmas for the next year. I never match the paper and ribbon up in the store. I find cool paper and the sparkly ribbon toss it away till next year and always find just the right combinations when I am wrapping.

I have a friend who LOVES Christmas. She loves every aspect of it. I joke about how when you walk in her house it looks like Christmas threw up in it. She loves to give gifts and buys something for everyone and then some (literally). She likes me to come over once or twice during the Christmas Season just to help wrap. Really what I am there for is to BOW her presents.

The other night when I went over she had another friend wrapping. When I walked in she said there you go. Sitting before me was a pile of presents waiting to be "bowed". So I scooped up all the ribbon found myself a comfy place to sit and away I went. I could almost make bows in my sleep. When I finished the first bow and attached it the lady wrapping looked at me and said, "I have never seen anyone freehand a bow like that before, Wow!"

That's exactly what I'm looking for. Something to dress up the package so you know it was wrapped with love. My dad always saves my presents for last not because of what is in them but because he never wants to undo the "beautiful" wrapping job.

I am trying to keep my focus this season and what we are truly celebrating. We aren't just celebrating the birth of Christ but all the details of why and how he came that makes Christmas so special. It is remembering the details. I consider wrapping a Christmas present a detail. Taking the time to make that present look beautiful is just as important as the present you chose for them.

So whether your talent is baking, decorating or making bows don't forget the details. God didn't forget the details when he brought Jesus to earth for us. Why would you forget the details this holiday season.
Happy Wrapping....wish I could be there to help bow all of your presents.

TTFN~

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 8

Today I am celebrating the freedom Christmas Break. There is always so many other things to do during Christmas break there is no swimming, basketball, school meetings or any other place we need to rush off to. So getting home from work the kids are all waiting, wanting to know what will we do. We have been lucky the weather has been warm and the kids can play outside. They have been playing lots of Wii even Maddie is figuring out the bowling and baseball. It is really cute.

Because the next grading period ends two weeks after Christmas Break the school has a reading program for Christmas Break. Katie and Jack are required to read 20 minutes per day for eight days during break. So the kids brought there books and piled in my lap and read. For Katie this is an easy task, she loves to read, I find her reading all over the house. But Jack not so much. He is well above the reading level where he should be for this time of year, it just isn't his favorite thing.

The school also has an at home math program called Math Stars. Katie and Jack log in the computer and answer all kinds of Math challenges. Katie has earned the most points in her class so far. Jack dislikes that she can do it so well so he is working to catch up with her. I know it sounds like a lot of homework over a holiday but I like the freedom of doing it at your own pace.

My employer is pretty generous with days off during the holiday so the kids and I will be together quite a bit. I am sure I will be ready for them to go back to school when it is time but for now I will enjoy all of the early morning snuggling, Wii playing, being outdoors or just all piled on the couch watching a movie.

Happy Christmas Break!

TTFN~

Monday, December 19, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 7

I was at a loss for words today on what I wanted to celebrate. With all the different aspects of the Christmas Season when I first came up with this idea I was most certain the ideas would flow. Well NOT today. I didn't really go anywhere Sunday so I did not have outside perspective to feed from. Afraid I wouldn't think of anything I started walking around the house. At one point I was just staring at the tree.......

Suddenly.....that's it....I found it!!

Christmas ornaments......

As I looked around the tree I realized all of the ornaments had very special meaning. The "Our First Christmas" ornament from 1997, wedding gift ornaments, the ukulele from Hawaii, the Washington DC annual ornaments (we have three of them), the ceramic doves (one for each family member) and my most favorite ornaments; the ones the kids have made me. I have ornaments made from puzzle pieces, foam, paint, construction paper, glitter and most importantly LOVE.

My favorite ornament is more like a decoration but it ALWAYS goes on the tree and right in front for all to see. Kaitlynn made it which is very appropriate. Cut out of red construction paper and bedazzled with lots of red glitter is the word JOY. In the center of the O is a picture of the kids I sent into school.

It isn't just any picture. It was taken about six weeks after Madelynn's surgery. She was still very weak and not eating well so she was very tiny. She had just been released from the hospital for the second time. Even though it was the Christmas Season it was a VERY low time in our life. I would watch her take a bottle and 10 minutes later throw it all up. Some days she would only get about 400 calories not enough to survive if it continued. Her body went through such a shock she wasn't adjusting well at all.

We all know how the story ends at least as of today. I think even in this years Christmas card picture you can see it in the background.

So as you look over your tree I hope it gives you pause to help you find something to celebrate.

TTFN~

Sunday, December 18, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 6

The kindness of strangers is a rare find these days. People are so untrusting and don't take a chance on anyone. Most days I feel the same way. Well yesterday I had an obscene amount of errands to run and Phil had an appointment so the kids had to travel with me. Usually going to several different places with three kids in tow is like a suicide mission during the Christmas season. Yesterday I was proven wrong.

We left the house and landed at Chick-fil-a because we had time to kill and I figured the kids would be ready for lunch. We ordered our food and the order taker said we'll bring it to you. It was fabulous I didn't have to find a table, balance a food tray and get everyone in their seat without spilling anything. They brought us our drinks, our food and even stopped back by to make sure we didn't need anything else. I have never been to a fast food restaurant that. They didn't want anything extra for the trouble it was very nice.

After getting Katie and Jack's hair cut we headed off to drop Katie off with my Mom and Jack and Maddie headed off to do our business. The first store had a line eight people deep so Jack, Maddie and I went to the back of the line. In my mind I am thinking this is going to be a difficult wait. However, God sent us a little angel. He put a 63 year old a man in front of us, who is patiently waiting for grandchildren.

During this incredible long wait, he made the kids laugh and chatted with us, the next thing I knew it was his turn in line. When he finished, he turned around wished us a Merry Christmas and was gone. I hope he does a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Our next stop was again another line, thankfully shorter but a line nonetheless. This time we had an ordained biker minister.  At first glance he was a very scary being. For whatever reason, he turned around and started talking to us. When I looked him in the face he had these amazing blue eyes. We started talking and the scary exterior melted away. He talked about his mother coming to visit, his son in the Army and reaching out to other bikers wanting them to find Jesus. The next thing I knew it was his turn. He also wished us a Merry Christmas and was gone.

Had it not been for the wonderful people filled with Christmas cheer our 3+ hours of errands would have been totally miserable. I am very grateful we crossed paths and it made my day a little easier. I just wanted to remind everyone there still good people out their.

Happy Errand Running!

TTFN~

Saturday, December 17, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas....Day 5

Today I am really excited for what I am choosing to celebrate in my 12 days of Christmas. Let me start off by saying, "He did it!!"

Over the last three weeks Jack has had a very difficult time in school. He has gotten in trouble for not following school rules and most recently fighting. I have tried so many different avenues one day I just sat and cried because I didn't know how too help him. I finally looked at him and gave him an ultimatum.

Either behave in school and follow the rules or your Christmas is CANCELLED. You can come with us to all the parties and accept the gifts but you will not open them. They will sit in the living room until you earn every single one of them with excellent behavior . He started to stammer some type of argumentative response out and I stopped him. I told him if he uttered another word about it he would open every present to see what he received and then we would drive up to Goodwill and drop them off.

That was the quietest he has been in six weeks. Needless to say he behaved and he will get to have Christmas. Friday he came running off the bus, ran all the way down the street and exclaimed, "I did it Mommy!! I had a great day!!" That was just the icing on the cake. He had a few good days to redeem some of the terrible behavior.

I was so worried. I prayed for him all day. I did not want to see him fail or take away his Christmas. I would have done it if I had too but I can't promise I wouldn't have cried doing it.

My problem right now is not that he is failing in school, he in fact is actually excelling faster than Katie did. He completes his Math homework so fast I barely knew he had any to do. Then he tries to figure out Katie's. His reading level is where  he should be at the end of February not Mid-December. I truly believe he is bored and it is getting him in trouble. If I could only get him to understand he is not in charge and he MUST follow the rules.

But for now, today I will celebrate the small victory of getting him back on the right road of following the rules. I do not have to take away anything away at Christmas. more importantly I have a lot of work today helping him understand. His kindergarten teacher said this would be a difficult year for him. When he made it through every other year would be a breeze. I hope she is right.

Today is for SMALL VICTORIES!! Good Job Jack I knew you could do it.

TTFN~

Friday, December 16, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 4

Update Day 3:

So I guess I was wrong or we are just really loved. I was so bummed about the lack of Christmas cards I thought people were in someway giving up. Thursday we received 6 cards in the mail. I guess people were almost as behind as us. I just mailed our cards Thursday.

OK now moving on....

Day 4:

When I talked about Christmas traditions one of my FAVORITE traditions is Christmas cookies. I don't remember her, just what I was told or saw in pictures but "no lie" I had a great grandmother named Cookie Grandma (at least that's what we called). Apparently, she cornered the market on baking. She has even had some of her recipes published in a cookbook I have.

I love to bake. I guess I was blessed with some of her genes.

When Phil and I moved in our neighborhood we developed some friendships that even though some of them have since moved away we still keep in touch. Every Christmas I would bake cookies, pack them up and go out early in the morning on a weekday and leave them on their front porches. After the first year, about December 1st the neighbors would ask when baking day was. I would spend one whole day baking.

After our world changed with Madelynn's birth and surgery I haven't really made it a priority. I just stopped doing it and I shouldn't have. My Grandma Angie makes some of the best cookies. Every year she would have this plate of cookies that were almost too good to eat. Little green tree shaped cookies with red hots as the ornaments, Neapolitan striped cookies and my most favorite cookie in the world the peanut butter drop cookie with the slightly melted Hershey's kiss in the center. My mouth is watering just typing about it. She made it such a priority that even when I moved to NC she always sends me cookies at Christmas.

Realizing the error of my ways I will be spending the better part of Saturday and Sunday baking cookies. I can promise you they won't even be a close second or third to those that have come before me with their supreme talents; but I will be giving it my best shot.

So if there is a tradition for whatever the reason you just stop dong, find a way to make it happen. If I can attempt cookies with all three kids at home and Phil at work, you can bring back any tradition.

Good Luck and Happy Baking!!

TTFN~

Thursday, December 15, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 3

In the last house I lived in before moving to college it had these wonderful archways when transitioning from room to room. It was something I always loved about that house. During Christmas season I loved getting the mail because it was one of the times I was allowed to open the mail and we decorated the archways with the Christmas cards received. Some years we would get so many we covered two archways.

In the last few years, I have noticed a sharp decline in the amount of cards we received. This year we have only received 6.  I realize the economy has been in the toilet and we have all had to make cuts where ever possible. However, not sending Christmas cards shouldn't be one of them. Christmas cards are a way to send Christmas cheer. I have always had a family picture to include and some years I even included a Christmas Letter because life had changed so much. But I have never not sent Christmas cards.

Three weeks after Madelynn was released from the hospital the first time and one week  after she was released the second time, I made the kids sit and smile for a picture . It took longer than it should have but I finally clicked  that one picture. A day or two later my Christmas cards went out in the mail. It was important at that time to find something in my life that seemed normal. I felt great sending them out because people were receiving something other than a bill.

So before you decide to skip it this year, ponder the possibility that you could be mailing a smile when the person at the other end opens the card.

TTFN~

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas...Day 2

Day Two.....

When thinking about what else I wanted to celebrate in my 12 days of Christmas it was easy. Eight years and eight days ago I gave birth to my first child, Kaitlynn May. She is nothing less than amazing and she never ceases to shock me when I least expect it.

During these years, I spent my first Mother's Day in the ER because it was one if the few times she became very ill. What I will never forget is the lady who had been waiting to see the doctor in the ER, step aside so my daughter could be helped right away. Every time I remember this day, I stop and pray for this woman. This is the day I started writing hand written letters to her. One day she will have a box full letters to read from her Momma anytime she wants.

I have spent countless hours reading, singing and dancing with her. I love to see her smile, count the freckles on her face and hug and kiss her anytime I want. She is a fantastic BIG sister and I am beyond proud of her. This year she was tested and selected for a program called Global Kids. This is a enrichment class that helps her prepare for the year end test to see if she is eligible for AIG classes.

So today I celebrate my daughter Kaitlynn. I love you Punkin!!

TTFN~

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

My 12 days of Christmas.....Day 1

The 12 days of Christmas as we all know is a very long sometimes annoying Christmas Carol. But when you really think about it, the song talks about things to celebrate during the 12 days of Christmas. Traditionally, the 12 days of Christmas begins Christmas Day. Today I am going to start my own 12 days of Christmas ending Christmas Day.
Day One:
Forty Three years ago today my parents made that promise before God, Family and Friends that they would be together forever until death do they part. As with any life journey, I am sure it was not always easy but they seemed to always do it together and some days make it look so easy.

As my parents celebrate the longevity of their life together I am reminded of some of our Christmas Traditions. I remember spending Christmas Eve at my Great Grandmother Foster's house, going to Mass as a family and spending Christmas Day at my Great Aunt Bernadine's. It was always the same but as a kid the traditions were very comforting.

Even though my great grandmother has been partying it up in heaven for quite a few years now, I can count on one hand the amount of Christmas Eve's I have missed with my family. Since moving to NC I have created a new Christmas Day tradition that I believe my Great  Aunt would give me the nod of approval. But none of these things would have been possible without my parents creating those traditions and instilling the importance of them.

As my parents celebrate their day, I am grateful for their time spent making sure the traditions always took place. I am very sure that was not always easy but very much appreciated. Thank you for all you do.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!

TTFN~

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Happy Birthday Kaitynn!!!

Eight years ago today, I was in the hospital totally miserable confined to my bed. I was four days away from my due date, the doctors decided to bring Kaitlynn into the world as she was beginning to make me sick. Tonight at the dinner table we were talking about Kaitlynn's birthday and what Phil and I were doing this day eight years ago.

We went to the doctor for our weekly check up and she asked us to go directly to the hospital. From the time we checked in, it took Kaitlynn 31 hours to actually make it into the world. The doctor sent us to the hospital about 3 pm December 3rd, but Kaitlynn didn't join the party until shortly after 10 pm December 4th. I was one tired Momma but I was so happy to finally meet her.

Here lately I see this tall, thin, beautiful girl who is trying to find her way in life. Sometimes this journey includes making wrong choices and I have to let her make those wrong choices. I realize as she ages it will only become more difficult, something I am not looking forward to. Today we will just celebrate today and how far she has come.

She is thriving in school this year in so many ways. I can count on one hand the amount tests she brought home that were not 100. She recently started her Global Kids Program. This is a class designed for 2nd and 3rd graders who the school believes will be eligible for AIG classes and tested for admittance at the end of the 3rd grade. We are absolutely thrilled at all of her accomplishments. Outside of school she has been swimming for the last two years and loves it. I just beam with pride when I see her dive.

When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday this was her response. "I wanted to get my nails and toes painted. I want to play soccer in the Spring. I want to go to the movies and out to dinner."

So her godmother set it up for her to get her nails and toes painted. She was so excited. We are going to dinner after Sunday School  this afternoon. We will be going to a movie in the next week or so and in the Spring we will sign her up for her first soccer season.I did buy her some presents to open too but she is most excited to play soccer in the Spring. Funny, I never thought of myself as a soccer mom.

Here are some pictures the night Kaitlynn went to go see Beauty and the Beast with Aunt Joy. It was part of her Birthday presents she received while we were on vacation.


She was so excited to wear this dress.



Before we curled her hair.



And After.....

Happy 8th Birthday Kaitlynn!!
Love Always,
Momma

TTFN~

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

The last couple of years we have awakened Thanksgiving Morning in South Florida. It is not your traditional Thanksgiving Day that I have grown up with cold weather, working part of the day, and needing layers of clothes. Today we will be wearing shorts, going to the park and swimming all before our Thanksgiving feast.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and although the scenery has been different in recent years I still love it. As I type I hear the Thanksgiving Macy's day parade. I remember as a kid when my mother got up at the crack of dawn to put the turkey in, we would watch the parade, go to church, come back watch more of the parade and within a few hours people would arrive. We would have a big feast surrounded by family.

Today we will be surrounded by a different family but family nonetheless. The ginormous table will be surrounded by 25+ people most of them we know for a big feast!!

We hope where ever you are this holiday you too are surrounded by familiar faces and family.

We are Thankful for all of our family especially those we can't be near today. We are Thankful for good friends who have always been there for us without blinking an eye. We are Thankful for our children, even when they make us crazy, they are still always the best gifts we were ever given.

As you come together today we hope you can find something you are truly Thankful for and celebrate it. For us it will always be God's impeccable timing to save Madelynn's life because without her our family would never be complete.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

TTFN~

Friday, November 18, 2011

My Little Indian..........

Thursday I walked out of my office to find this very cute little Indian and her classmates walking down the hall. Since it was raining the kids had to find an indoor activity. They decided to come up to my floor and show off the latest fall fashion.

Madelynn's teacher later told me, when Madelynn found out they were going upstairs she asked if she could see her Mommy. Once they reached my office I was not in it but coming out of the office next to it. I could see Madelynn very disappointed I was not in my office but when she saw me come out of the other door she lit up like a Christmas tree. She gave me a kiss and led the class back down the hall. She even waved and said, "Bye Mommy!!"

It totally made my day. Since I did not have my camera at work I took some pictures of her as soon as we got home.

Madelynn and I were talking about vacation after school and she asked me if she could drive. Here is my little Indian taking the first leg of the drive. LOL!!!


















Have a Great Weekend!!

TTFN~

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Skip a Beat moments....

The other day when I was checking the kids backpacks, I found this in Madelynn's. They were going around the room asking the kids what they were thankful for. (Mind you this is 3 year olds.)



It was such a sweet suprise to find in her backpack. I love the fact that she chose Daddy and not Mommy. Sometimes I worry that she spends so much time with me she won't be as close to Phil as she is me. When I read it my heart skipped a beat and I couldn't wait to show it to Phil.

Now Madelynn is in both a MWF class and a TTH class. So Madelynn was able to do the excersise twice. In true 3 year old fashion the second time she chose "cookies". Phil and I joked that Mommy got the shaft. Lucky for me Madelynn never makes me feel that way.

TTFN~

Something to share..........

People are often unreasonable and self-centered
Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives
Be kind anyway

If you are honest, people may cheat you anyway
Be honest anyway

If you find happiness, people may be jealous
Be happy anyway

The good you do today, maybe forgotten tomorrow
Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough
Give your best anyway

For you see, in the end it's between you and God
It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Teresa

Someone handed me this the other day and thought I would share.

TTFN~

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

One Sunday Morning....

Getting ready to head off to church one day and I had Phil and Katie take a few pictures.

Mommy and Jack

The Girls

Mommy and her munchkins
TTFN~

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Lucy Says.....

I came across this today and thought I would share.......I love the Peanuts. They make life seem so simple.



Lucy Says

The world is filled with wonderful things.

A chocolate chip cookie can not be one-sided.

Life is full of choices.

A gift of a flower is always a gift of LOVE.

How come winters are long and summers short?

All you need is a dog.

There's a lot more to life than dancing.

Life is full of surprises.


TTFN~

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Halloween 2011

I know I posted pictures of the kids on the way to the Halloween Party at the Rec Center but the weather was a little different and I needed to change Maddie's costume to keep her warmer so I have some new pictures to share.

Superman, The Ladybug and the Butterfly Pixie

She was so excited about this costume.

My Superman

One little Bug I would not squash.

I will have more to post in a few days for now I am going to bed.

TTFN~

Sunday, October 30, 2011

3rd Heart Birthday

Today is the 3rd Anniversary of Madelynn's Heart surgery that saved her life. When I think about this day there is a phrase that jumbles around in my head I will never forget.

"There is no medical reason that your daughter is alive today. She really is a miracle."

If I let it, that phrase would bring me to my knees every time. It reminds me that God has a perfect plan for Madelynn. Most certainly not my plan but God's. There is a handful of pictures taken about 10 days before Madelynn's surgery that when I see them, I would think that is the last time my life made sense. Really these pictures are the last time I controlled my life. I am reminded daily that God is in charge and I need to be obedient in what plan He has for my children and I.

Recently I came across this and it just made me stop.

"I can not give you half my heart and pray He makes you whole."

As a heart parent, there is always this underlying fear that if you love with every ounce of your being and it is not enough how do you recover from that and where do you go from here. After surgery, I was so afraid to love her with everything I had. I couldn't hold her, there were wires coming from every direction and that little girl that just beamed with smiles was gone. I used to tell Phil, I just want to see her smile. (It took 10 days to see that smile again.)

A few days after surgery I was so desperate to hold her I asked the nurse if it was safe. It took a little doing but they set me up in a rocking chair and in my arms she came. It reminded me of the day she was born. There is no feeling like it, simple, pure Joy! I watched her body relax because she recognized me and tears rolled down my face. We watched the sun go down out the hospital window, I sang her the bedtime lullaby I would sing at home and she fell asleep.

As I was driving home to see Kaitlynn and Jackson, I realized I had to trust that giving my all had to be enough. I needed to "recklessly" love her.

Over the past three years, we have reached Monster Highs; where you felt like you were flying and could barely catch your breath. Those dark, cold, Evil Lows filled with tears, anger, frustration days that will just suck the life right out of you. We are still here and the journey is far from over. We have learned to focus on finding today's Joy. When the dark times try to overtake the day, we refuse it and never stop fighting.

To see Madelynn today you would never believe her journey and you are fully aware we fought with everything we had. We have learned to never refuse an open door, move on from the door that refuses us and look for the window.

As we celebrate our third year at our second chance with Madelynn, we are Thankful for God's perfect plan of Dr. Alfred Kendrick, Dr. Christopher Baird, Dr. Nicholas Sliz, Dr. Alan Harsch and Dr. Douglas Chen. We know it was God's impeccable timing for each of them to be there when we needed them most.

For those family and friends who were there from the beginning and if needed we can call on again today....Thank You! We would have never been able to make this journey without you.



TTFN~

Friday, October 28, 2011

Halloween Fun

Last year we discovered the rec center we belong to throws a safe indoor Halloween party for the kids put on by the staff. I love going because it is indoors mostly little kids and the kids play games for candy. Complete fun for the kids and I am not freezing my butt off.

So before we went I took a quick picture of the kids.

The Butterfly Pixies and Superman
I just wanted to gobble them up.
Early this week my employer did a staff "field trip". I brought home a rather large pumpkin for the kids. We don't usually carve pumpkin's but since I had one to carve, why not! Before we left for the party I cut the pumpkin open and cleaned it out. We talked to the kids and they each decided one feature to the face for Phil to carve. After the party Phil finished it and placed it outside.

I must say it turned out pretty good.
Hope everyone has a SAFE and HAPPY Halloween!!

TTFN~

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Not sure how I feel......

Lately I have been watching Kaitlynn in her school work and all the papers she brings home and I am surprised every week. The last two months I am more stunned than surprised. Every test but one Kaitlynn has brought home was 100% and two in one day two weeks ago. Some days just telling her how proud I am of her just doesn't seem like enough.

As parents we are always biased of our own children. I wasn't quite sure what to do and how to help her the most. So besides the normal help I give with homework, I just started praying for God to show me how to help her. I kept praying but I never felt like I was receiving any answers. I was worried I was missing something.

But I wasn't the only one watching out for her. Kaitlynn's teacher was keeping an eye on her too. Friday I received a letter asking for my permission for Kaitlynn to test into a Global Program. I had never heard of this before. Ultimately, they want to see if Kaitlynn tests into an early admittance for the AIG (Academically and Intellectually Gifted) program for both Math and Language Arts.

Sure....I have heard of it but not before High School. Granted Kaitlynn is my oldest child so some of this is very new to me. I could barely speak. I just handed the paper to Phil and asked if he was okay if I signed it.

His reponse was, "Are they serious?"

All I could say was I guess so.

So today at 9:30am she will be tested.

I talked to her over the weekend and again Monday night. I explained to her that she would be taking a series of tests. These tests were just to see how smart she was. No matter what the result Mommy and Daddy would not be upset and we only wanted her to try her very best.

She seemed a little nervous, took and deep breath and said, "OK".

So if you are reading this please pray that if this is the door God has opened for us; He help Kaitlynn shine at her very best. More importantly if this is the wrong door He guide us to the window.

Praying for Kaitlynn....

TTFN~

Monday, October 24, 2011

My Girls......

In recent weeks, it seems as if all I have done is lug the girls to Jack's soccer games. I must admit....I LOVE going to his soccer games. The girls on the other hand have had to just come along, watch and find something to do for the hour or more that we are there.

Kudos to them for trying REALLY hard to behave.

After Jack's game while we were waiting for the team meeting to be over, I took the girls to the playground at let them run, swing and just feel the wind through their hair. They were in heaven.

I love the dimples.

Messy hair and all I could just gobble her up.
But I also took these..........

I LOVE the freckles.

Those big brown eyes melt my heart every day

SISTERS

Although they are completely different people in so many ways, they will always be MY GIRLS.

TTFN~

Friday, October 14, 2011

Aw Shucks!!

Well I had to rework my schedule to make all of the last few days happen but, Thursday despite the on and off rain I was able to go on Jackson's field trip. It was really stressful to map out all of the logistics for all three kids but in the end I was really glad I went. Not to mention it was a great way to celebrate Fall.

Sometimes I feel like Jack always gets the shaft. I could go on about things I don't have a memory of for Jack but I do for the girls. I feel like I will always be making things up to Jack. Today I believe made up for some of it.










It looked to be a miserable rainy day. I prayed on the way to the farm that we have a great day together. Seconds after the prayer the sky opened up and fell. My first thought was .... Seriously!!! But, I just kept driving to the farm in hopes of a great visit.

When I arrived I started to see blue sky and sunshine. We were able to get most of the visit in and the rain came again. We took cover and had lunch. We took a nature trail walk. Right  at the end of the trail the rain came again. By that time we waited for it to stop again and the kids headed off to the bus and I drove home.

The one on one time with Jack was well worth all the stress of logistically making it happen. It is a day he will forever have in his memory and if I didn't go I would never be able to get back.

TTFN~

Thursday, October 13, 2011

October has been very busy.............

October has been really crazy and we are barely half way through it. Jack is really enjoying soccer and doing quite well. His game last Saturday was against his best friend's team. He did really well with a goal and a couple of assists.

He can run.

Jack and Sam
After the game there was a fall festival in a community near our neighborhood. Old cars, games and fun for the kids, something for everyone.

I loved the blue color.

Phil checking out the old cars.

Daddy teaching Maddie how to check out an old car.

Get Ready!!

Away we go.

When things don't go quite as planned.

We walked the festival, did a little face painting it was time to go.

I am not sure who was more exhausted the kids or myself. Monday was a teacher work day so Katie and Jack were out of school. I promised we would paint pumpkins.

It makes me laugh when the tongue has to come out to get the job done just right.
She begged me for that little side ponytail.
His concentration kills me.
She loves to paint.
Those last few days have been busy and it just continues. I have a few more photos to post of Jack and I, maybe tomorrow.

TTFN~

Thursday, October 6, 2011

10....12....16....14....

You are correct they are not in numeric order and no there is no reason to correct the order. Added together they equal 52.

Lately I have been asked the same question over and over and I have been giving the same answer over and over.

When are you going to cut your hair? Will you be donating it?

I will probably wait until April, which will be 3 years since my last cut, and MOST DEFINITELY I will be donating it.

Or should I say donated it AGAIN. It was just time.


BEFORE

AFTER
In the last 13 years I have only had 4 haircuts that resulted in donating 52 inches of hair and today was my last donation. For all my Family, Friends and Children of Friends who have had their bodies ravaged by cancer this was my silent fight. I couldn't fight your fight, take your pain away, make you miraculously healed or stop you from dying.

What I could do is grow my hair, take care of it to get the best possible result, cut it when the length was enough and start all over again. My hair helped someone feel normal again. I don't know who that was but I pray for that silent victim often.

The kids loved my hair cut, Phil won't lie he really dislikes my short hair but he appreciates the cause. Hope everyone has a GREAT WEEKEND!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Happy Birthday Aunt Joy!!!

Happy Birthday Aunt Joy!!!

We wanted you to know that we are thinking of you today and are sorry we aren't there to help you celebrate. Kaitlynn, Jackson and Madelynn drew pictures for you and we have mailed them to you but we thought we would share them with everyone.

This one is from Kaitlynn.
She wanted to make sure you knew all the words in yellow on the right were supposed to fit in the thought bubble. This is what she thought you would say about your presents.

This one is from Jackson
What you should know about this picture...... Jackson wanted to know your eye color before he started drawing. Whenever he draws a picture eye color is VERY important!! He was very excited you and he had blue eyes.

This one is from Madelynn
She was very proud of this picture and brought it to me with the biggest smile on her face. However, I must share the best part about this picture. The whole time she was drawing it I could hear her singing the WHOLE Happy Birthday song including inserting Aunt Joy when she got to that part. It was really cute!!

All that to say we truly hope you have a Fantabulous 18th Birthday and we will see you soon!!

Sending lots of Hugs.....

Phil, Chelsea, Kaitlynn, Jackson and Madelynn

TTFN~