Swimming Goggles

I simply couldn't resist......

I will never understand the kids fascination with wearing swimming goggles around the house but it makes for really fun pictures.

TTFN~

Where have we been.....part 3; Procrastination is over.

During my 30 day hiatus from blogging it wasn't because I didn't have anything to post. Some days I just had too many thoughts drizzling around in my head I wasn't sure I could put it into words and it make sense. So here's hoping I don't sound like a blithering idiot.

I received an email at work telling me there was an opportunity for a little mini-retreat on company time. During Lent things are very different around the office, just very quiet. The Director of Adult Ed brought in this wonderful guest speaker to tell her story about a stunning journey of forgiveness.

Listening to her tell her heart-wrenching story about the kidnap and murder of her 7 year old story was very sobering. Her encounters with the man who did it and how she came to forgive him was very compelling. Everyone in the room was very touched by the journey as there was not a dry eye in the house.

However, I was more in awe as the mother spoke about her journey and how God carried her, loved her, taught her and strengthened her along the road. She showed an almost impossible blind obedient faith like I have never seen. She spoke about how she had no idea how when she said Yes to God she was going on the ride of her life.

That was it. This was exactly how I felt. I had no idea when we said yes to God about every decision for Madelynn that we would be on a ride some days; I would beg Him to let me get off. I am not sure why for so long we endured this ride. That is until recently I would pray that I have had enough I can take NO MORE. Over the last two weeks I have watched my children play, laugh, sometimes cry but mostly smile. I forgot about the fact that Madelynn was a heart child. Instead I just saw my youngest child who LOVES to smile.

I still hold my breath at every doctor visit praying the other shoe doesn't drop. Sometimes I let my mind get away from me and worry about, I could not handle walking this rode again. I will never measure up to this blind obedient faith this mother carries with her. But everyday I get up saying Yes to God. I just want to make it through today being a normal family of five (whatever that is). As each of these days pass, someday I will find peace no matter where Madelynn's journey takes us (secretly hoping it would be no where).

Honestly, I am not there yet and I still carry alot of rage about this whole experience. But if this woman can find peace with God after her daughter was kidnapped and brutally murdered. My daughter is still alive and sharing sunshine where ever she goes; I don't want to miss it.

I believe and hope that each day of sunshine Madelynn spreads will make whatever darkness we may encounter later just a little more peaceful.

Here's hoping you find a little sunshine no matter what form it is in. With the pictures I posted over the last few days how could you not find sunshine.

TTFN~

And then there is part 2

I have talked about this before but in our master bedroom it is painted two different colors. One color is called coffee bean but it looks like I smeared Hershey's Syrup on the lower part of the wall. The top part is an antique lace which is a very light brown, beige color with a white chair rail separating them.

Because of this paint decision all of the art on the wall is either a picture I or my father took converted into this sepia tone. I took this pictures at the same time took the ones I posted yesterday but I converted them to these tone. I was very excited about the result and hope to get them printed and on the wall soon.

Enjoy!

TTFN~

Procrastination just a little longer part 1

I am not sure if it is procrastination about writing or the last few days I managed to get a few pictures that just made me laugh. I had been watching the weather and cold tempatures and rain is coming for about four days. I finished mowing the grass Friday late afternoon and about 30 minutes after I finished I saw the clouds rolling in. Before long I heard the rain. It hasn't stopped since and is to continue through Tuesday. Our 80 degrees days are a thing of the past.

In an effort to make the best of it I let the kids play outside till the last possible minute. With everything I accomplished I still managed to sqeak out a few pictures. I will have one more post of pictues and then I will finish my part 3. Part 3 is a little more difficult to write about so I figured I would procrastinate for a few days more.

So some made me just laugh out loud, some made me smile and some just melted my heart. I'll let you decide between today and tomorrow which ones they are.

TTFN~

Interruption.....

I had one more post about where we have been but It was interrupted by the arrival of a small package this afternoon. Last Thanksgiving we went to Florida to visit Friends and Family. I have to say it was the most fun we have had in a LONG time. I know I posted my photos but these were some photos other people took. Thought I would share.

They clean up well don't they?

At the end of an eventful day, just not sure who fell asleep first.

In the nice Florida evenings, we could take a golf cart ride through Plantation acres you just never know what you would see.

The horses were always a hit.

Enjoying Nana Patti and Papa Dave's ginormous jacuzzi tub. Jack had a ball.

TTFN~

Where have we been.....Part 2

While on this thirty day sabbatical from blogging all of the kids were sick in some fashion. Because we get early Spring the pollen comes very early. Combining that with a week of high winds Jack was one miserable little man.

We made our annual visit to the doctor to get his additional allergy medicine he takes for thirty days twice a year. It took a few days for the medicine to adjust to his system and getting him to take it at the right time of day. A few days later Katie came down with a virus that kicked her butt for about five days. Lucky for me it was over the weekend and I only missed one day of work.

Poor Katie just lay on the couch as I crammed liquids down her and she just slept for what seemed like days. Because I didn't see a significant difference in Katie and she passed it to Maddie off to the doctor we went for a third time in less than a week. We were able to get Katie something else and I saw huge improvements. It took her over a week to get her strength back. One day she slept 14 hours straight.

However, the damage to Maddie had already been done. Maddie had a weight check Friday and weighed over 26 lbs. Monday when we went back she was less than 25 lbs. She lost over a lb in three days. I was emotional wiped out. She officially fell off the chart and did not register in a percentile. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry because I felt as if I failed her once again.

I have been told, "Oh she looks great!", "Are you sure she has lost weight?", "What are you so worried about?".

Most of you were not there as I literally watched her whither away and beg the doctors to help her with her eating after surgery. She spent two extra days in the CVICU because of it. I have been to two different nutritionist trying everything I can to pack weight on her without turning eating into a nightmare. My ultimate goal is to pack enough weight on her that if it ever came to pass she would be able to withstand another surgery and lose a little weight.

The brightest side to these most recent events as the weather is changing Maddie is wearing shorts and t-shirts. The shorts are tight and need to be adjusted. It means that even thought she is losing weight and has a lot to make up for she is still growing. If she is growing she is still getting good nutrition just not enough to pack on the pounds but just barely over enough to sustain or gain and ounce here and there.

Trying to focus on that positive is what keeps me going; not to mention the infectious smile or the for no reason at all she walks up to me and says,"I love you Mommy." It melts my heart every time. The last few days have been very successful in the food department. We are making great strides. In about another week or so I will head up to the doctor's office for the dreaded weight check.

In the mean time I attached a few pictures of the scenes I see everyday that inspire me to continue.




This face is what makes me work harder to find a better answer to give her the best possible life sometimes at a very emotional cost.

This is a new photo that will hang in my bedroom. She just had to know what the Hyacinth's smelled like.

TTFN~

Where have we been......Part 1

The last 30 days have been sometimes more than I can bare. To start Spring has more than sprung. I did get some pictures of spring arriving both in the front and back yard over the last month and thought I would share a few.

Two years ago Katie, Jack and I planted the Hyacinth's in the Fall and waited the long Winter to see the fruits of our labor. Katie and Jack now know when the Hyacinth's bloom we will spend a whole lot of time outside.





I have to say that the Plum Tree's are my favorite. It is a slow growing soft wood tree so it is perfect for the front yard. Overlooking the logistics of why I planted it in the front yard it is just a pure sign of spring and I love it. However today the blooms are all done and the dark purple leaves remain. I truly enjoyed my three weeks of blooming tree.

Last but most definitely not least we have the Pear Trees. The buds are pink but one fully open they are a pure white. Fully blooming the trees look like white cotton candy or a giant q-tip. The Pear Trees are EVERYWHERE. One year an old friend had been staying with my mom and he came home one night and was a little disgruntled. I asked him he told me he thought winter was over but when he was driving home it was snowing.

Now mind you this is in the middle of the spring and the daytime highs we in the mid 70's. I asked him where he was at when he was driving home. When he told me I just laughed. This 2-3 miles of road is completely lined with pear trees and it was the white petals shedding from the trees. There are so many of these trees on this stretch of road at night it looks like it is snowing.

So yes we are still around completely drowning in everyday life. But I suppose there are worse things. Have lots more to share and hope to catch up this week.

Happy Monday!!!

TTFN~