We made our annual visit to the doctor to get his additional allergy medicine he takes for thirty days twice a year. It took a few days for the medicine to adjust to his system and getting him to take it at the right time of day. A few days later Katie came down with a virus that kicked her butt for about five days. Lucky for me it was over the weekend and I only missed one day of work.
Poor Katie just lay on the couch as I crammed liquids down her and she just slept for what seemed like days. Because I didn't see a significant difference in Katie and she passed it to Maddie off to the doctor we went for a third time in less than a week. We were able to get Katie something else and I saw huge improvements. It took her over a week to get her strength back. One day she slept 14 hours straight.
However, the damage to Maddie had already been done. Maddie had a weight check Friday and weighed over 26 lbs. Monday when we went back she was less than 25 lbs. She lost over a lb in three days. I was emotional wiped out. She officially fell off the chart and did not register in a percentile. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry because I felt as if I failed her once again.
I have been told, "Oh she looks great!", "Are you sure she has lost weight?", "What are you so worried about?".
Most of you were not there as I literally watched her whither away and beg the doctors to help her with her eating after surgery. She spent two extra days in the CVICU because of it. I have been to two different nutritionist trying everything I can to pack weight on her without turning eating into a nightmare. My ultimate goal is to pack enough weight on her that if it ever came to pass she would be able to withstand another surgery and lose a little weight.
The brightest side to these most recent events as the weather is changing Maddie is wearing shorts and t-shirts. The shorts are tight and need to be adjusted. It means that even thought she is losing weight and has a lot to make up for she is still growing. If she is growing she is still getting good nutrition just not enough to pack on the pounds but just barely over enough to sustain or gain and ounce here and there.
Trying to focus on that positive is what keeps me going; not to mention the infectious smile or the for no reason at all she walks up to me and says,"I love you Mommy." It melts my heart every time. The last few days have been very successful in the food department. We are making great strides. In about another week or so I will head up to the doctor's office for the dreaded weight check.
In the mean time I attached a few pictures of the scenes I see everyday that inspire me to continue.
This face is what makes me work harder to find a better answer to give her the best possible life sometimes at a very emotional cost.
This is a new photo that will hang in my bedroom. She just had to know what the Hyacinth's smelled like.
TTFN~
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