We have just been through some of the craziest days. The family came down for an annual visit that also correlated with Madelynn's baptism. My sister and her husband and three girls, my brother, my grandmother, my parents, and Phil's sister and her mother, made for some busy times. I was hoping to have photos to share but I have not picked up my disk from my dad yet.
So I'll just tell you the story and share the photos later. About 10 days after Madelynn had her open-heart surgery she was to be baptized. I had to post-pone it. I did not want Madelynn to be baptized at the hospital unless her situation turned grim. Fortunately that never happened. Not saying that the up and down days weren't some of the toughest days I have ever travelled. Each day Madelynn grew stronger and stronger.
There were times, like when I had to take Madelynn back to the hospital in December, twice, again in January. Her weight gain was a huge problem and there were days I just cried because I knew what she was eating was not enough. However I never gave up. The days she didn't want to eat I would sing to her and the next thing she knew she had emptied the bottle. I watched therapy as it happened every week so that I could work with her on those things until the therapist came back.
On a day to day basis the Lord has to regularly teach me patience. The one thing he has never had to teach me is persistence. A little over six months ago Madelynn could not hold her head up, she was 5 months old. Our case worker that oversees Madelynn's therapy was very worried. At that time she also hooked us up with the nutritionist.
To date Madelynn weighs 16 lbs 14.5oz. This is a six lb gain in less than 6 mos. I am sure that that is below normal standards but for her it is great strides. I still take her for regular weight checks. Madelynn also sits up, crawls, stands and holds on to things to walk. She is still weak in the walking area but she won't be a year old for another 5 weeks.
I feel like Madelynn's baptism was one part of her life coming to an end and another one just beginning. When we arrived at the church for the baptism we did not know it would be in the chapel instead of the church. So we sat in a hallway near the chapel also near the perpetual prayer room. The perpetual prayer room that is always open.
After the children were settled and just waiting, I decided to walk in the prayer room for just a few minutes alone before everything started. As soon as I walked in the room tears just rolled down my face. There were no words that would come to mind to say, I just cried. I was so grateful I had reached this day I didn't know what to say. Even when the priest asked what we ask for Madelynn Rose, I could barely get the words out.
If you saw Madelynn today and did not know her story you would never know what she has been through. I believe she is ready for the next step in her journey. I believe she will thrive at it. I believe she will continue to show people, other than myself, just how truly strong and courageous she is. I believe I will watch her for the rest of her life fight for what she wants and she will prevail. I believe, as her mother, she will always know she was a precious gift and it will not be wasted or taken for granted.
Back in January, I listen to a family therapist talk about parents like me who have huge burdens to carry for there children and it will not be easy. Then she said something else...don't ever forget you were chosen to do this.....At that point in the meeting I just kept writing the word chosen on paper. When I got home, after having a melt down in the car that I didn't believe it should be me, I looked up the definition of the word chosen. To select from a number of possibilities. Of all the parents in the world especially those who pray, hope and beg for children He chose us. I hope I never let Him down.
TTFN
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