Finding a way
The love of a parent is like a brilliant bonfire at it's peak. The flames are large and colorful; something you can't take your eyes off of. And you don't want to.
Some days the fire is so hot you can't go near it. I hate the days where I feel like I can't reach my child. I hate the days where my words turn into ashes instead of rising in the air like a phoenix.
Waiting for my child to make the choice that turns the orange and red flames into brilliant clean burning blues. Blues so cool and smooth you feel like you can exhale. The cold air smoke rises from your mouth and dissipates into the nothingness. The anxiety is gone.
I do not like seeing mt child all slumped and closed off. A person of few words and lots of shoulder shrugs is not who I envisioned I would be raising. I do realize this is a marathon and not a sprint. I know that someday we will get there even though today feels like a losing battle. Today I feel totally defeated. I hope one day he finds a way to make the right choice. To find a way to be happy with the amazing person I know he is.
God help me until he finds a way.
TTFN~
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