Since I didn't really talk about Madelynn's pediatrician visit until after it was over and received such stellar news; I decided to do the same for the pediatric cardiologist hoping for the same result. I have to say even three years after surgery every time I walk into the pediatric cardiologist it takes all I can muster not to puke while ANYWHERE in the office.
This time was no different. I walked in, I felt my stomach in my throat and tried to just remember to breath. As I looked around, I saw Madelynn everywhere. There is a big picture of her on the wall where she is about 17 months old, Camp Luck photo collages for the last two years and there is Madelynn and those big brown eyes smiling back at me.
It was as if Madelynn was reminding me, "See Mommy look at me now!!!"
About 10 minutes later, my breathing returned to normal and I could just wait. When we were called back Madelynn took control and just marched down the hallway like she owned the place. The staff just smiled. She jumped on the scale and told the nurse how to measure her height too. It was very cute. Then into the dreaded exam room. I tried to just focus on Madelynn helping the nurse get blood pressures and other vitals.
I know I shouldn't, but there is a part of me that waits for the pediatric cardiologist to very politely but in matter-of-fact style tell me there is something else wrong. I am always afraid that if I let that wall tumble, my world will change forever AGAIN. To be honest, I am not sure I am strong enough to walk this road AGAIN.
Thankfully, AGAIN would not happen Friday. After her exam and echo I was told that Madelynn was a PERFECT RESULT. She looked great in every sense of the word and her doctor told me he was very pleased. Before we left he would not be doing his job without a word of warning. For the time being she has to come back every year. Because Madelynn needed an "extended repair" there is always the possibility the repaired area will shrink and need to be altered again. He is not comfortable with her not coming back every year just yet.
So while Madelynn enjoys her second year of a pre-school she loves and lives every day to the fullest, I will be on the sidelines smiling, laughing and cheering her on. I won't lie though, there will always be a small wall that I refuse to let tumble. The part of me that will do everything in my power to protect her with every ounce of my being. To give her every chance to live as normal as life as possible, broken heart or not.
Friday was a GREAT day!!! We received excellent news and it helped the battle inside me rest easy for now.
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| Who doesn't love a kid in goggles? |
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| Beautiful and thriving!! |
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