More to life.....

As I said in yesterdays post there is more to life than having a child with a CHD. For example, I have two other children who have the most normal, crazy lives as far as being 5 and 7 go. So I can't spend all this time talking about my CHD family without telling you about the rest of the family.

So today is Jackson's turn.....ahhh my sweet boy....No really I promise he can be. LOL!

Some call him.....Opie Taylor......or Dennis the Menace....and some days even Ralphie......

Jackson has challenged me from the day we found out he was to be a boy. I started really gaining weight; that was until the day he was born. Of course I should have felt some relief since he was almost 10lbs!!!

When Jackson was about three months old he started getting sick all the time. He was cranky, irritable and simply misunderstood. After talking to his caregiver, she suggested he might have a need for tubes in his ears due to poor drainage and lots of infections. After plotting all of the ear infections and talking to his doctor, off to the ENT doctor we went. The caregiver was right he would be scheduled for tubes right away at 11 months of age.

The weeks before tubes I would play with him on the floor and make sounds for him to mimic but he wouldn't repeat them. Three hours after surgery we were at home playing on the floor. I started making the same sounds again and too my surprise he made the exact same sounds back to me. His ears were so bad he could not hear. Or at least what he could hear was like talking to him while he was underwater.

The victory was short lived as 21 months later he was to have a new set of tubes put in and his adenoid removed. Still not quite right, five months later just two weeks after Madelynn was born we were back at the ENT to talk about his tonsils. It took some convincing by me to the doctor but he agreed to also take his tonsils in a third procedure. He had to be three to have the tonsils removed, so 4 weeks after his third birthday they were gone.

Finally Jackson was really thriving and even though at first it was just me, he is really smart. I am sure Katie had a small part to play in that fact as he is always wanting to do what she does. Reading, writing, games......He wanted to do everything she did.

But if I had to describe Jackson, he has a gentle spirit. Don't get me wrong he is just as rough and tumble as the next boy but he has a huge heart. Eight weeks after Jackson's tonsils were removed Madelynn's damaged heart was discovered and two weeks later had her open heart surgery.

One day in the middle of all the pre-surgery drama, Jackson came up to me like we were best friends put his arm around me and asked, "What's wrong Mommy?"

It is truly by the grace of God that I was able to muster up the following answer. "Well Buddy the Doctor says that Madelynn's heart isn't shaped like yours and mine." I took my two pointer fingers and traced a heart on his chest where his heart is. I continued, "Her heart is broken. We have to go see a doctor to see if he can fix it." At this point I could not see as the tears rolling down my face were blinding me.

But what I felt was a three year old little boy hugging me as tight as he could.

When he let go he walked over to the bassinet, picked up Madelynn's hand and just held it. Today, I still see him pick up her hand the exact same way; as if he is going to guide her.

Watching Jackson now, I know I have my hands full with a five year old in kindergarten. In his most recent parent teacher conference, which I requested, I walked away speechless. His teacher started out by telling me that he needs to be reading level three books by June. He is reading level four and starting level five. By June he needs to read, write and recognize numbers one through thirty. He is reading, writing and recognizing numbers over one hundred.

In my mind I am thinking...."Holy Crap!"

The teacher shows me his first day of school Math assessment and it was off the charts. She looked me in the eye and said, "He is really smart."

Jackson still has a lot of maturing to do. This is his down fall. People see and hear him and expect more from him and forget a few weeks before kindergarten started he turned five. At this same time, he was starting a swim class that was designed for 6-12 year old.

There are days he thrives on showing others how smart, strong and independent he can be. But I won't lie I like to spend time with just him; my heart overflows when he hugs me every single day. I love to rush home from work to be one of the first moms in the carpool line just so I can see that beautiful smile.

Eventually, I won't be that person that surrounds his whole world. I will be standing back but cheering the loudest and whatever he has accomplished. I hope he never loses the gentleness about him and finds a way to celebrate it as often as possible.

Complete strangers come up to me sometimes and see the three kids in all of our normal chaos and say, "You have your hands full."

To which I usually reply, "You have no idea." I just smile and walk away.

Not sure what I would do if my hands were empty.

TTFN~