late night ramblings..............

It is really late I stayed up to watch a show and would have felt guilty had I not finished the dishes and started the dishwasher, before I went to bed. However, as it always happens in my life thoughts come to mind at the oddest times. And lately I have been stressing about money and how everyone will get paid. But I stopped and gave it to God knowing He will take care of it at that point my mind goes elsewhere.

So this is where it took me............hopefully you will understand my ramblings.

Today we had a HUGE accomplishment that only a few people will understand. I prepared dinner and kept checking with Phil to see if her would make it home. Dinner is always so much more complete when he makes it home. He pulled in just as we put the last plate on the table and we all had dinner. And yes we had our usual difficulties and fun but tonight was different.

Lately Madelynn has good days and bad days with eating her dinner. Either I have made her favorite meal and she empties the plate without help or she totally protests and throws the plate on the floor and refuses to eat anything. With the fact that she has been doing so well I have decided to get a little more involved in CHD's and do a little reading. To great heartbreak there is a 50% chance she will have another heart issue down the road from something mild to the extraordinary.

So like the bills I could have wollered in self pity or decided to do something about it. Do something I can control. What I can control is her weight I can help her get back to a safe good percentile on the weight chart. How I see it is that if she falls into the 50% that has additional heart issues having a normal healthy weight with good eating habits will help her be stronger to fight whatever we are thrown.

How we do that is watching all the calories we give her, if she wants something to eat make it a healthy higher calorie snack. Is that possible? Yes it is. Tonight I made pork chops, scalloped potatoes, her favorite fruit and milk to drink. With the help of Daddy's silly nature, the willingness of the whole family to participate and ketchup, Madelynn ate every bite. This was the first time she has ever eaten everything not to mention all of the meat. She still has a lot of difficulty eating meats. Eating a portion of pork chops was huge.

So I will continue to not worry about the bills or the possible additional heart conditions but instead I will help my daughter gain the right amount of weight, educate myself on different heart conditions, volunteer my time where I feel I am needed and enjoy every minute of it with my kids. When you talk about the good days and bad days.....today was a GREAT day.

Today Madelynn is only about 22.5 lbs at almost 21 months old. If I remember correctly that puts her in the 10th percentile which isn't bad and I am grateful she is on the chart. But if she were to have an issue today we could easily be back to square one and the problems we had about a year ago with her weight. So as the rest of the world is struggling to lose weight and be healthy I have to come up with creative healthy ways for Madelynn to gain weight.

Hoping she gains at least another pound before we see the nutritionist next month.

TTFN~

I hate the dentist........

So I knew an old filling fell out and would need to be repaired but I also recently discovered a bad very, obvious cavity. I was afraid to get it repaired because it was near the gum line. So I was talking to someone at work and she suggested I go see her dentist. She hates the dentist as much if not more that I do, if that is possible.

I hate the dentist so much I would rather give birth again than go to the dentist. Yes, scary I know. One of the ways I relieve stress is cry. So here I am in the dentist chair so worked up because I LOATHE the dentist, I just started crying. It was SOOOOOO..... embarrassing.

Little did I know that was not the end of my embarrassment for the day.

So the dentist only had time to either repair my teeth or clean them. I opted for filling in the cavity. So he knows how much I hate the dentist and is really trying hard to just talk calmly as he walked through the whole process. As we get to the worse part I tell him I can still feel him working, like a little tingling.

He says, "Oh okay I can fix that right up."

I had no idea what that meant..............I had know idea I should have been afraid.

So now that I am nice and numb he continues to work it seemed like an hour but it was probably only about 10 minutes. He tells me some good things about my teeth, ways to better care for my teeth and tells me he will see me next time for my cleaning.

By this time I felt like the left side of face was melting off. I was so numb I could barely speak and I was talking out of the side of my mouth. The nurse told me not it worry it would wear off soon. Wear off soon I felt like it was still taking affect when I left. I get to work and now half of my left nostril is numb including the whole top of the left side of my mouth.

It was a horrible feeling because if my nose was running I wouldn't feel it, if I started talking too fast I would get daffy duck syndrome or just flat out spit on someone because I could not control the left side of my mouth. Mind you about 8:15 my mouth was numbed and the additional numbing med was added about 10 minutes later......I couldn't feel the inside of my mouth or my left nostril til sometime after 1pm.

Thankfully very few people were in today so I just had to make sure I didn't spit on my boss.

When I walked in the door to pick up Kaitlynn, Jackson and Madelynn they immediately wanted to know if the boo-boo on my teeth was gone. They were so excited to see it had disappeared.

They have no idea what I had been through...........

Have a great week.

TTFN~

Kaitlynn's Story

Since about the first of the year Kaitlynn has been doing a writer's workshop at school. Slowly I have been getting her written stories in her papers being sent home. This past Friday I received a story about a recent trip to the rec center to go swimming. The attention to detail like the picture of the boy and the girl on the locker room's leading out of the pool. I was holding Madelynn because she was cold and Kaitlynn was in the pool.

One of the things they teach the students in this writer's workshop is the sound the words out they want to write. The teacher wants them to figure it out even if it is wrong to give the writing and spelling attempt their best try. I had Kaitlynn read me the story to make sure I had all the words right. Below the pictures are the translations.

"Me and my family went in the pool and my mother said get out"

Please Note: When I turned to the next page for Kaitlynn to read it, her first response was, "Look Mommy I even drew myself with my goggles on." It was all I could do to not laugh at the picture. When I showed Phil the picture later that night I laughed so hard I was crying. I just love it!!!

"and I said no and my dad come out"

Please Note: I love the fact that in the first drawing I had round feet, the second drawing I had no feet and in the third drawing I had square feet. I love the spiky hair on the men and long flowing locks on the girls and I didn't know my bathing suit had buttons on it. I love the creativity.

"and my dad came out and and my dad and came in the pool"

I have no other words for this except to say that it will go in Kaitlynn's baby book as I feel as it is one of her best works of art thus far.

Enjoy!

TTFN~

Spring Picture

I know she doesn't look like this anymore but this past week Kaitlynn brought home her spring school picture. Even though I like her hair short this turned out to be a really cute picture. I still think she looks like Daddy even though most people say she looks like me.

Something I came across.......

I came across this on face book and thought I should share it. This has such a great meaning for my family that I can't even tell you where I would begin to explain it. Have a Great Wednesday!

"The human heart was made by Greatness as a fragile piece of us which is susceptible to pain and hurt, anger and sorrow while simultaneously being capable of Great Love and Joy! We are taught by God to guard against this world but also to share it. Something that can be so feeble, our hearts were made to hold the most awesome gift of love."

TTFN~

Today I will make a difference

Over the last four or five days things have been pretty stressful. Sometimes with the kids I just have to stop and take a breath and remind myself some day I will miss this. I know I will, but there are moments and we all have had them that we just need to step away for every ones sanity, but mostly my own.

A few weeks ago I was given something to help start my day and some days I think I need to recite it more than once.

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful; therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstance. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It is OK to stumble...I will get up. It's OK to fail....I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes. Five minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children and friends. Today I will make a difference.

Author: Unknown

It just helps me start my day with a more positive attitude and figured maybe someone else needed to hear it besides me.

Have a great week!!

TTFN~

3rd annual picnic

Below you will find pictures from the 3rd annual Levine Cardiac Kids picnic with the other cardiac families. It was a great day, lots of fun and just long enough. I have also attached a link from last years picnic just so you can see Madelynn's changes. About this time last year, I could see Madelynn getting better and stronger and it was just interesting to compare the two.

Enjoy the pictures!

TTFN~

Our Weekend.............

Weekends are always filled with ridiculous "To Do" list and never enough hours in the day to get them done.

Since it looks as though the morning frosts could be history we decided to get out in the yard and get everything uncovered and ready for the rest of Spring and Summer. It was really nice not too hot and no humidity.

So We...............................

Planted a Vegetable Garden

While Kaitlynn helped Mommy and Daddy plant everything, Grandma Bacho helped oversee Jackson and Madelynn.

Jackson gave Tractor rides

Do you think Madelynn enjoyed the rides????

As we were wrapping up the day I realized that I had missed a section of the yard and forgot about the rose garden. Don't get me wrong it is nothing glamorous but it has it's own story. One year for Mother's day Phil built the stone wall and filled it with dirt and planted several rose bushes. It is filled with all of his sweat and hard work and built with love. I have cut roses off as they open and dried the roses out and made homemade potpourri. I have made gifts with the potpourri or saved it for myself.

Over the last year and a half I have horribly neglected the rose garden. I have spent that time taking care of Madelynn and all that she and Kaitlynn and Jackson required. When I walked over to it I was absolutely stunned that it was still thriving. I thought for sure it had given up on me and died off. So I took the last part of the day and cleaned it up. As you can tell it is ready for the warmer weather. It already has buds on it.

The Rose Garden

When I finished I walked the yard to see what else was blooming or well on it's way. I get excited during spring to see everything come back after the winter. Considering Phil and I planted everything in the back yard, I like to watch our work come to life. Below is the best thing in the backyard I found this week.

The Climbing Yellow Roses

Hope your weekend was as successful as ours.

TTFN~

God's timing is perfect..........

I am not sure I will ever learn but I am regularly reminded you would think I would learn.

The other day I was trying to get to work early because I had been off for about five days and I knew there would be lots to do and catch up on. All the kids are out of school for spring break and people are off work this week so traffic should have been a breeze.......should have been. I get out of my county just fine. I enter into the county I work in and traffic is a mess.

What should have taken 30 mins or less took the standard 45+ minutes. The closer I got to work the angrier I became. About two miles from work I was just furious. As I make a right turn and merge into a left lane I am cut off by a man who is in a bigger hurry than I am. At that point, I just said,"Enough".

I was not going to start my day this way. For whatever reason I will get to work right on time and I just need to take a deep breath and accept it. I wasn't happy about it but I accepted it.

As I made my left turn that in another mile I would be at work I came upon a HORRIBLE accident where a large pick up with a trailer attached met another smaller pick up. There was massive damage to both vehicles with fire trucks, police, ambulance basically the works. I could smell the fuel all over the road.

If I was getting to work when I wanted I might have been involved and/or seriously injured. It was right in front of my parents exit to their neighborhood. So not only had my tardiness kept me from being involved, it happened after my parents exit the neighborhood to start their days.

So yes again I am reminded "God's timing is perfect and He will take care of everything in His time."

I am grateful, I nor my family was involved and I hoped and prayed that the vehicles took most of the hit and that the drivers would be ok.

Remember the next time you are late getting somewhere to be Thankful. You never know what could have happened had you been on time.

TTFN~

Happt Easter!!

Wishing everyone a Happy Easter!!!!!

Fresh New Look

Kaitlynn came to Phil and I and asked if she could have her hair cut again. I wanted her to grow it a little more maybe donate it again. Phil didn't want her to cut it at all. But she was very insistent. Everyday for a week, multiple times a day Kaitlynn would ask when she could get her hair cut. So I stalled yesterday, but this morning she asked again.

So I called the place we always use, secretly hoping they would be booked. I told her I would call and ask but if they were busy we couldn't. I called at 9:02 (they opened at 9:00), they had one opening at 9:45. I think I broke a world record for a shower and getting half way across town by 9:45.

But we made it with 3 minutes to spare. Boy was it worth it.

TTFN~

My April Fool's Day...........

There is nothing special about my home except to say that it is mine. It won't win any awards or be in any magazines. If you drive through my neighborhood there are other houses with the exact same layout. Oh but the stories my house could tell.

I remember the day we closed on the house and I begged Phil to hang the blinds. He asked if we could do it tomorrow. I said no please let's do it today. We were there till the wee hours of the morning hanging blinds.

I remember the day Phil and I installed the wood floor in the Living Room. Do you know that the underlayment in big red permanent marker it says "Chelsea Loves Phil" and it has Kaitlynn's name and birth date along with Jackson's name and birth date. (Madelynn was no where in sight yet.)

I remember exactly where I was standing the day I told Phil he was going to be a Daddy for the first time.

I remember walking into the house, the first time we toured it and looking at Phil and telling him this is it. This is the house I want to live in. This is our house.

I remember planting every single shrub, tree and flower in the backyard.

I remember where I was standing right before we rushed Jack to the hospital, he and I were covered in blood.

I remember sitting in the living room talking to the doctor on the phone as he told us Madelynn's heart was damaged.

I remember Sunday afternoons the whole family being in Jack's room or the girls room and just playing with them, all the giggling and laughter that ensued.

Today is the anniversary of Phil and I closing on our home. We were married four months later. If these walls could talk, oh the stories it would tell of the joy, pain, laughter and tears. I am not sure why I like to celebrate this anniversary but it is one of the constants in our lives. It is the one constant that no matter what kind of day I had I still was able to come home and find peace here.

So as you celebrate your April Fool's Day with jokes and laughter at the end of the day I will be driving home to the people and place that give my life the most peace.

TTFN~