Back in October, a friend and mother passed away. She was a good friend and I was missing her and felt compelled to write about Mother's then. As Mother's day was approaching I was having writer's block, but I really wanted to express a few things but they weren't coming.
But if it weren't for my mother I wouldn't be the person I am today. She loves me unconditionally, allowed me to make my own mistakes and instead of saying I told you so when I asked for help she would just help. She already knew I learned from my mistake and is just always there. There have been so many times when I would would sit and pray for answers and God would make the answers come from my mom.
Let me give you an example. We were really short on money and I knew it wasn't enough to get all the groceries we needed for the two weeks until we got paid again. I wanted to go to BJ's because I could get more for my money than going to the local grocery store and my mom has the BJ's membership.
So all the way to my mom's house and to the store I silently prayed asking God for an answer on how I would pay for the groceries we really needed. As we turned down the street to turn in the store parking lot my mother says, "Since you wouldn't give me any ideas for a birthday present for you I transferred some money into your account to use however you needed it."
I almost wrecked my car. But God answered my prayer using my mother.
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born, the woman existed but the mother, never"
The lessons we learned in life as mothers from our children can not be taught from a book. As a mother I have learned............
-Be patient: Sometimes it takes both the mother and the child to learn something.
-Love with your whole heart: You should never doing anything half way.
-Don't give up: Even on what you consider your worst day they will always give you a reason to smile.
-We never fail: We just learn lots of ways on how not to do something until we get it right.
Before I became a parent I graduated from college with honors, made the National Dean's List, inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honors Society and was in the top less than one percent of the college. These were huge accomplishments in just a few years. However, my greatest accomplishment in life is being Kaitlynn, Jackson, and Madelynn's Mom.
Prior to Madelynn's diagnosis and surgery I was working full time, all three kids were in day care, it wasn't where I thought I would be but I was happy, stressed but happy. Then I felt like my whole world had collapsed. All the balls I was balancing in life fell to the floor. All I could do was hold one, Madelynn's because I didn't want her to die. However, for a few months I struggled with this and felt like I was failing Kaitlynn and Jackson. I felt like everything I do for them will never be enough for all the days they had to be pushed aside for Madelynn.
But I was wrong, Kaitlynn is excelling in school and in cheer leading and I am very proud of her. To see her today to would think her life never skipped a beat. Don't let her fool you though she still loves her one on one Mommy time. Jackson is taking a little bit more work but he is coming along. I think he will settle down even more once he starts school in the Fall. But Madelynn is truly amazing to see her today you would never believe the journey she has been on.
Today at church I learned something....We were told this story......a girl and her grandmother were talking about her toys and the grandmother asked which toy is your favorite. The girl didn't want to tell her. When she finally did, it was a little old beat up doll. Surprised the grandmother asked why this one was her favorite. The little girl replied that this one needs the most help and love right now.
This is how we as mother's operate. We don't love one child more than the other ever. However, as we go through life, our children require different needs. I need to stop thinking that I failed any of my children and just remember that at that moment .... that is the child that needed me most.
Hoping all my friends that are mother's had a great day!
TTFN~
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