Pondering

"You know you were made for more"

Made for more........what does that really mean........

Just about the time I think I know exactly what I am supposed to be doing in life I get thrown a zinger. Having Katie was planned, having Jack so close together was the zinger. Two years later, as I think I can handle the two of them, the bigger zinger, Madelynn was coming. I remember sitting in the hospital room a few hours after Madelynn was born watching her sleep.....thinking what am I going to do now.

When I asked God about it I did not get an answer so I assumed nothing just get her home and

start living. So as I was doing that I was thrown the biggest zinger of them all. I had no idea that I could be made for more. I thought I would be better off just living life as an audience member than being someone who has a voice. For example, I like volunteering at the school book fair more than I would like to stand up and share my whole journey. Sometimes saying the words are worse than living the journey. The words make it real.

But the other day I heard the above phrase and I was in the middle of something and just stopped. My first thought was I have been though enough I don't want more. But the phrase wouldn't leave my mind and has been there for a few days. So now my new journey is to figure out what more is. I know God will never give me more than I can handle but again what is that more........and would I agree that I could handle it. He has never abandon us in everything we have been through but why me and why now.

As I ponder the next few weeks as to what this entails I will hope and pray for better direction. I need to fall back on what I know and what my strengths are and even what my weaknesses are. The one thing I know for sure is.....God will not take you through it without the tools to do it. So what are these tools I have in my walk so far that I can make a difference to someone else. Since this has been like an itch that just won't go away I thought I would share.

Still pondering...............

TTFN~