If we're honest

If we are honest......these are four very scary words.

If we're being honest I used to be angry and not just a little angry about Madelynn's journey. I had a boy and a girl and my life was exactly what I wanted, at least I thought so. Why did I need a third child? Why was it so important Madelynn be born??

If we're being honest my life was never close to being complete until Madelynn was born. The laughs, the utter joys, that gleaming smile, those big brown eyes. God has big plans for us and we have just scratched the surface of this journey. Every time I think we are just going to have an average family of five and Madelynn's history is a memory, I am reminded I need to continue to share our journey.

If we're being honest some of my most treasured friends are Heart Moms who have lived in the trenches with me. Other Heart Moms get it, they speak my language and in some cases no words need to be spoken. If I tell them Madelynn's heart check up is next week, nothing else needs to be explained. However, if I were speaking to my childhood friend I would have to tell her what happened, surgery, recovery, additional trips to the hospital and other specialists, therapy. It can be incredibly overwhelming and in some cases very off putting. This scenario is no ones fault but it makes life complicated. Some days I miss my old friends.

If we're being honest my life has done a complete 180. If you told me back in 1995 when I moved to Charlotte the events that would occur I would have tried to run away. However as part of God's plan everything was set perfectly in place. Every single person we needed to cross paths with was set in motion. There is no medical reason Madelynn should be alive today. But she is because of the beautifully orchestrated plan to bring her into this life. Sometimes processing it and accepting it can be overwhelming and brings me to tears.

If we're being honest not enough people know about Congenital Heart Defects (CHD).

If we're being honest too many children aren't making it to their first birthday because of CHD.

If we're being honest more research needs to be done to save these babies and thus more money needs to be available.

If we're being honest more children die from CHD every year than all childhood cancers combined.

I know everyday we were extremely fortunate that Madelynn's story started the way it did and she is still here with us. I have vowed not to waste it and will continue to share it.

TTFN~