What about you....

Thinking back during Madelynn's darkest days, I don't remember if I showered, brushed my teeth or even if I slept. Although this is part of trudging through that darkness and wondering if your child will survive, it is no excuse. As hard as we fight for our children's health and safety, we need to equally take care of ourselves. What good are we to our children if we make unhealthy choices?

 

Please understand I am no expert at this. As I have said before when looking back hind sight is 100%,. I was one of those parents that refused to leave my child's room for the first few days. There were so many unknowns; I was terrified something terrible would happen. If I had no sleep, barely any food, no exercise of any kind how could I make the best decision for my child with my brain starving?

 

Once my husband convinced me to find a sleep room and rest, I felt clearer to make better decisions. We also made sure that we left the room and took a walk as part of one of our meals. We may have brought the food back to the room and ate it, we still walked away to clear our minds. Stepping out of the room for anything felt like someone pounding on my chest, I could barely breathe but I did it.

 

One day as we were trying to re-enter the CVICU after a meal. We were told to have a seat in the waiting room it would be a few minutes. I had no idea Madelynn required emergency attention. It wasn't until the Intensiveist came out and told us what happened. I was angry, I wanted in that room, I was hyper-ventilating it was horrible.....then I thought what if she dies. At that point I sat and cried.

 

Again my husband reminded me....what could you do in there? They would probably have escorted us out, this would have been much worse. Because I left the room and ate something, I had a clearer picture of what was happening and we could make the best decisions in her care. Thinking about it today, our absence in the room was a blessing in disguise.

 

Taking care of yourself doesn't only apply while your child is in the hospital. Make sure you find a way to balance home care and everything that entails, and taking time for just you. During this regrouping time schedules do not apply. Find a book and start reading it, find a hobby that relaxes you or do something you have been meaning to do but home heart care gets in the way.

Good Luck in finding ways to keep yourself Healthy!!

 

TTFN~