How much can one mama take.....

So I haven't posted in about two weeks and it seems like a life time ago. As I lay in bed at almost 1am my mind is swirling. Two weeks ago today my friends mother died. To be there at the actual moment someone passes from this life is almost indescribable. What I can tell you is that I knew it was time. I told my friend to tell her mother it was okay to go. Within 5 minutes I could feel her mother's spirit and then she was gone, no heartbeat, no pulse just the lifeless body that carried her for 85 years. I was glad I could be there for my friend.

Less than a week later we were told there could possibly be something wrong with Madelynn's kidney's or urinary tract. It was all I could do to not buckle at the knees. After talking to other families, it could be something very simple, nothing at all or a problem. For the last week I have been convincing myself that it is nothing all. It is just Madelynn's doctor's being over protective. After what she has been through and the near miss with her heart, they aren't taking any chances. But I am not going to lie taking her back to the children's hospital for a test is a little unnerving.

So probably the icing on the cake. The reason I am up doing laundry and typing at 1am. Today I was informed Kaitlynn was bullied at school. She was being laughed at in the cafeteria at breakfast which caused her to spill the rest of her syrup from breakfast all over some of her new clothes Grandma Bacho bought her. The laughing and finger pointing  continued and Kaitlynn didn't know what to do. I had to get some clean clothes up to the school. Her teacher talked to her about the incident but I am not sure what she said.

I talked to the school counselor this evening. I had very mixed feelings about that conversation. When I came home Kaitlynn and I talked and she would not leave my side. After the two weeks I have had I will not take it. Hopefully with the weekend coming I can help her feel better. My biggest hope is that the school counselor does her job and at least checks into the incident.

It has been a long time since I have felt this helpless. There is nothing I can do to help ease my friends pain, I can't stop a possible new diagnosis for Madelynn and there was absolutely nothing I could do to protect my daughter from some ignorant, selfless, 5th grader from making my child feel like dirt.

There are many other little things that if I let them get to me, it will eat me alive. So for now I refuse to let any other negative things come into my life. I am telling God I have had enough I can not take anymore.

If you want to do something to help...pray my friend finds peace in her mother's passing, if there is something wrong with Madelynn we find the strength to handle it and to protect my daughter from others that would target her and for the 5th grader who did target her to find another focus.

Hoping with the beginning of March and signs of Spring we can find new beginnings and better prospective and wash all this negativity from February away.

One mentally exhausted mama.

TTFN~