Earlier this year I made a commitment to complete 5 5K's in the year. Of the 5 of them, three were all about the heart. The first one was the Cupid Cup 5K which supported Cardiac Rehab. The third was Heart of Warrior 5k supporting 335 Heart Foundation. My 5th and final one CHD Remembrance Day 5K supporting Mended Little Hearts.
Today is CHD Remembrance Day. Today is the day we honor all of those heart warriors who lost the good fight. I am not going to lie sometimes it makes me cry. Some days I get stuck in thought wondering why we had to walk this road, why did Madelynn survive (medically she shouldn't have), so many why's and so little answers.
But then I think if not for CHD's I would have never met Connie, Roger and Jessica. They are a heart family that has brought more laughs than tears into my life. We have shared more meals together than some of my own family. I just know it is always a safe no judgment place. So our horrible experience found great friends. If not for CHD I would not have been able to help families reeling from a recent diagnosis. I have talked families off the edge of their anxiety to help them clearly and make good decisions. I have been able to use my experience to help others.
Today while my youngest two children were on the soccer field I walked more than 5000 step to complete my final 5k. I had invited others to walk with me but life seemed to get in the way and I found myself walking it alone. All of the 5k's I completed this year that were heart related I completed alone. At first I was extremely disappointed but when I realized I had completed all the others alone I buried myself in my thoughts and completed my final 5k.
A few days ago I had an epiphany. I discovered that CHD Remembrance Day is also the same day that Phil's brother passed away from a tragic accident. This was another event in our life that changed everything. Phil was very close to Jason. I had to call Phil to tell him his brother was gone. I was afraid someone would call him while he was driving home so I called him before he left the job site. Sometimes just thinking about all the experiences he and his brother will never share makes me cry.
In one 24 hour period so many emotions crossed through my brain it was almost too much. The best way to for me to keep moving forward is to clear my head. So the Remember Our Hearts virtual 5k was just what I needed. I walked what seemed like a million laps around a soccer field. A place that seems like a second home. When I was finished there was Phil standing there to greet me. Just like most of the journeys in my life it was not how I thought it would go but it ended with Phil and I standing together.
TTFN~
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