The last four days have been really crazy. I have so much to blog about but this was the most important one. A year ago almost to the day I drove home from a Levine Cardiac Kids meeting. I was really depressed because Madelynn was doing really bad. She weighed less than the day of her surgery, she was eating just enough to stay alive. She was almost labeled Failure_to_thrive. I felt as if my world was spinning out of control. I had taken Madelynn to the ER twice since the last hospital stay and they kept sending us home.
I just broke down and cried and cried and cried all the way home from that meeting. Phil not knowing how to help me told me she would be okay. Anyone who knows me, knows that, those words are not enough. It was time to stop crying and start fighting.
In that years time, Madelynn has exploded. She inhales her meals, some days I wonder if she even tastes the food. She FINALLY is over 20 lbs, I didn't think she would ever get there. She skipped walking and went straight to running. She is talking to us, the dog, the stuffed animals, however, she hasn't figured out how to make her buttons talk yet. Give her time. I love her personality. One of her favorite things is she loves to dance. If ANY music is on she is there 'shakin her groove thang' as Phil calls it.
There are still a few things that make me nervous. Most importantly keeping her healthy. Sounds easy enough however because of her collapsed lung and paralysis in her diaphragm that is still not fully healed it is harder for her to fight off even a cold. We have been very lucky so far this winter plus Madelynn was able to get a flu shot this year. So we have a few more months to get through and I think I might actually take a breathe.
Madelynn completed her physical therapy back in December right before Christmas. In talking to her therapist she looked at her and said 'there is nothing left I can teach her.' The therapist not only helped Madelynn get to par because she was behind, she helped her become an over achiever. In my decision to start fighting, I would sit and watch the therapy sessions and ask why the therapist was doing things. Her therapist finally caught on and would just start telling me why she was doing things. I would work with her everyday because the therapist only came once a week. Even when I started back to work part-time, the therapy sessions were on my day off so I could still work with Madelynn.
Some days I look at Madelynn and am astounded at how far we have come. I hope that I have documented this part of her journey well enough that she we'll see what a fighter she is. Some days we are hanging out at the house and laughing. I stop and look around and just see Phil and three beautiful children. I never thought I would see this day.
Now that I have seen this day I wonder..........If Phil and I were trying really hard not to have children before she was born, she came along, only to be born with a CHD (congenital heart defect), and today acts as if she is as normal as the next child.............WHY was it so important she come along..........what does this life have in store for her.....will it be something GREAT!!....Whatever it is I hope I get to see it....And if I don't I hope I find it in my heart just to enjoy all the little minutes that add up to great.
TTFN~
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