People come and go in our lives everyday. The best friends are the ones that you share an inseparable bond with. Sometimes these friends get lost for a while but somehow always manage to circle back around in your life. You know they are real friends because you can talk to them today as if you talk to them everyday even though it may be years since your last conversation.
In the last two years one of those lost friends found their way back to me and we talked as if we talked everyday. He trusted me enough to fill me in on the missing years. He trusted me with both the good and the bad, knowing I would never judge him. I felt as if this friend gave me a gift because he had no fear to share the truth.
Sadly, Saturday the Lord decided it was time for him to come home. It was like one minute he was here and the next he was gone.
In recent weeks I had reached out to him but had not heard from him. There was a part of me that worried when he did not respond but I trusted when he was ready he would circle round again. That never happened.
When people die their friends and family wish for one more day with them. When people die suddenly the longing for one more day is much greater.
If I had one more day with Brandon I would want to meet him at the park with my dog and let him meet her. We would talk about his wanting to help others with service dogs. It would probably turn to something silly, like crazy things our dogs did and we would be laughing.
If I had one more day with Brandon I would want him to make me his favorite meal. He loved to cook and was quite good at it. It seemed to be something that brought him peace.
If I had one more day with Brandon I would want to go to his favorite club and listen to him play. Music was something he could get lost in and the rest of the world didn't matter.
Today, there will be a celebration of Brandon's life. I will miss talking to my friend, I will treasure the gift of trust he gave me but, most of all I will miss listening to him laugh. I am so glad he will finally be at peace.
RIP Brandon
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Love ~ from my 9 year old.......
About once a month I really get on the kids about cleaning their rooms. Once they tell me they are clean I then go through them with my "Mama-sense" (my spidy sense, LOL!!). It is crazy the things I find everything from food, this mornings dirty pj's, last weeks stinky socks, my craft scissors, you name it I find it. I am rarely surprised at what I find but it doesn't mean I still don't shake my head.
Today I decided to do my monthly check. I was truly shocked at what I found. In the girls room there was tons of trash. Waded up paper, ripped pictures and pages, as I looked through the papers before I threw it in the trash I found a poem that Kaitlynn and written May 2013. Last year she received some blank journals for a gift from First Communion. Lately she has been sketching and writing in the journals and this is one of the pages she left on her bedroom floor.
She doesn't know I am posting it but I though it was sweet.
Today I decided to do my monthly check. I was truly shocked at what I found. In the girls room there was tons of trash. Waded up paper, ripped pictures and pages, as I looked through the papers before I threw it in the trash I found a poem that Kaitlynn and written May 2013. Last year she received some blank journals for a gift from First Communion. Lately she has been sketching and writing in the journals and this is one of the pages she left on her bedroom floor.
She doesn't know I am posting it but I though it was sweet.
Love
Love is a heart
Love is something
sweet
Love is something
everyone has in their hearts and minds
Love is special
Love is a heart
Kaitlynn May Addler 2013
TTFN~
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Today's the Day!! Today's the Day!!!
This morning about 10:30 Madelynn will be graduating from Pre-School. I am sure there will be a part of me that will be sad and want to cry but, I am very excited for her. She will have reached a peak in the mountain of life at one time I didn't think was possible. So to celebrate her achievement I thought I would share a little photographic journey.
For each of these pictures I could share something the photo does not tell you. But instead I thought you could just enjoy the journey.
Congratulations Madelynn!! Mommy and Daddy are more than thrilled to share this milestone with you. Each day you amaze us at all of your accomplishments. We love your personality and EVERYTHING that comes with it. Thank you for showing us our life would not be complete with out you. Mommy and Daddy love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond, forever and ever.
TTFN~
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Need Reminding......
Tonight I talked to a friend who is having a very difficult time in her life. It made me so sad I wanted to cry for her. If nothing else to give her a hug. The average divorce rate in the US is about 50%. When you have a family with a child with a special need the percentage jump to as high as 80-90%.
Marriage is hard to begin with. Adding a child with some type of health condition makes it that much harder. Having lived this road for a while it is no joke. Some times it requires taking a step back and remembering the simple things.
10 Ways to Love
1. LISTEN - Without interruption
2. SPEAK - Without accusing
3. GIVE - Without sparing
4. PRAY - Without ceasing
5. ANSWER - Without arguing
6. SHARE - Without pretending
7. ENJOY - Without complaint
8. TRUST - Without wavering
9. FORGIVE - Without punishing
10. PROMISE - Without Forgetting
I am far from perfect and need reminding every once in while of these ten words so I thought I would share them. Hoping my friend sees them and finds peace in her difficult time.
TTFN~
Marriage is hard to begin with. Adding a child with some type of health condition makes it that much harder. Having lived this road for a while it is no joke. Some times it requires taking a step back and remembering the simple things.
10 Ways to Love
1. LISTEN - Without interruption
2. SPEAK - Without accusing
3. GIVE - Without sparing
4. PRAY - Without ceasing
5. ANSWER - Without arguing
6. SHARE - Without pretending
7. ENJOY - Without complaint
8. TRUST - Without wavering
9. FORGIVE - Without punishing
10. PROMISE - Without Forgetting
I am far from perfect and need reminding every once in while of these ten words so I thought I would share them. Hoping my friend sees them and finds peace in her difficult time.
TTFN~
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
The house that built me.....
About two years ago a childhood friend who I hadn't seen in 25 years pulled me aside and says, "Do you know why we didn't always get along.....We both wanted what the other had."
I was very taken back by this comment.
She continued to say, "There was never a doubt that your parents loved you......."
I dreamed about this comment and what it meant. After a while I felt pretty horrible.
I could remember wanting to go to a school dance and not having a new outfit to wear. My mother took the sewing skills her already deceased mother taught her and altered a skirt out of something she already had. I still wanted a new outfit. My father was really angry. I was such a selfish teenager and completely ungrateful. Little did I know the skirt she altered for me was wrapped in love. My mother loved me so much she wanted to make sure I would look my best and I didn't see it that way.
This year my parents will be married 45 years. There is never a day that goes by that I am not 100% sure that my mother loves my father and my father loves my mother. I may not have had all the latest things but I always had the greatest the love of my parents.
When I think back about the house we grew up in a dam of memories breaks and everything comes rushing back and I can barely breath.
I remember the single rose bush that would bloom every summer on the side of the house. The big tree on the side of the house we would play around. The brick patio we built a clubhouse on and sunbathed on. Jumping the pricker bushes and sometime falling into. The stairwell we would fly down on our pillows. All the birthday parties and holiday dinners we had around the dining room table.
Being awakened by church bells, and walking across the street to church and still being late. Diving off the top bunk and scaring the crap out off my mom. Shooting the bb gun in the closet and accidentally getting shot with one. Sharing a bedroom with a baby sister. When we would get grounded to our rooms, my brother and I would send notes back and forth with his toy jeep.
Playing super heroes and jumping out of the TV cabinet my father was finishing. Watching my father build the train table in the basement. My parents would have friends over and they would play cards and watch TV. On the hot summer nights sitting out on the front porch watching people go by. Walking to the river to watch the fireworks for the fourth of July.
Fighting with my brother and calling my mom at work to make him stop. Like she could do anything from across town. Sitting on a bee and screaming half way down the block. The sitter thought I was dying. Coming home from school and finding the dog sitting on the portable dishwasher.
When I stop thinking about it 20 more memories will pop in my head. The result however will always be the same. My parents made their every effort to make sure we knew we were loved.
Don't get me wrong I caused lots of trouble, was regularly grounded, and claim responsibility for more than 25% of my mother's gray hair. My father had this habit of rubbing his head when he would get frustrated with me. I also claim at least 25% of the lack of hair from that motion. No matter what they never gave up even though some days I am sure they wanted to.
When life gets complicated we want to retreat to our "happy place'. My husband's "happy place" is Fort Macon at Atlantic Beach. For me, my parents first house in the old neighborhood.
I hope one day my children look back never doubting I loved their father or that he loved me. I hope their "happy place" is their first home. I hope as many times as they were in trouble they have equal or more happy times to laugh themselves silly. I hope they have a house that helped build them.
TTFN~
I was very taken back by this comment.
She continued to say, "There was never a doubt that your parents loved you......."
I dreamed about this comment and what it meant. After a while I felt pretty horrible.
I could remember wanting to go to a school dance and not having a new outfit to wear. My mother took the sewing skills her already deceased mother taught her and altered a skirt out of something she already had. I still wanted a new outfit. My father was really angry. I was such a selfish teenager and completely ungrateful. Little did I know the skirt she altered for me was wrapped in love. My mother loved me so much she wanted to make sure I would look my best and I didn't see it that way.
This year my parents will be married 45 years. There is never a day that goes by that I am not 100% sure that my mother loves my father and my father loves my mother. I may not have had all the latest things but I always had the greatest the love of my parents.
When I think back about the house we grew up in a dam of memories breaks and everything comes rushing back and I can barely breath.
I remember the single rose bush that would bloom every summer on the side of the house. The big tree on the side of the house we would play around. The brick patio we built a clubhouse on and sunbathed on. Jumping the pricker bushes and sometime falling into. The stairwell we would fly down on our pillows. All the birthday parties and holiday dinners we had around the dining room table.
Being awakened by church bells, and walking across the street to church and still being late. Diving off the top bunk and scaring the crap out off my mom. Shooting the bb gun in the closet and accidentally getting shot with one. Sharing a bedroom with a baby sister. When we would get grounded to our rooms, my brother and I would send notes back and forth with his toy jeep.
Playing super heroes and jumping out of the TV cabinet my father was finishing. Watching my father build the train table in the basement. My parents would have friends over and they would play cards and watch TV. On the hot summer nights sitting out on the front porch watching people go by. Walking to the river to watch the fireworks for the fourth of July.
Fighting with my brother and calling my mom at work to make him stop. Like she could do anything from across town. Sitting on a bee and screaming half way down the block. The sitter thought I was dying. Coming home from school and finding the dog sitting on the portable dishwasher.
When I stop thinking about it 20 more memories will pop in my head. The result however will always be the same. My parents made their every effort to make sure we knew we were loved.
Don't get me wrong I caused lots of trouble, was regularly grounded, and claim responsibility for more than 25% of my mother's gray hair. My father had this habit of rubbing his head when he would get frustrated with me. I also claim at least 25% of the lack of hair from that motion. No matter what they never gave up even though some days I am sure they wanted to.
When life gets complicated we want to retreat to our "happy place'. My husband's "happy place" is Fort Macon at Atlantic Beach. For me, my parents first house in the old neighborhood.
I hope one day my children look back never doubting I loved their father or that he loved me. I hope their "happy place" is their first home. I hope as many times as they were in trouble they have equal or more happy times to laugh themselves silly. I hope they have a house that helped build them.
TTFN~
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Happiness is a choice!!
Happiness is a choice!!!
To different people Happiness is different things.
Happiness could be finding 20 bucks in a winter coat, languishing about
something you need to do only to find someone did it for you or discovering you
and your spouse have the same afternoon off.
As a Heart
family we have had to make many choices. To agree to turn your child over to a
surgeon to save a life, a feeding tube because bottle feeding is too stressful
on the heart or trust complete strangers with the health and well-being of your
most treasured gift.
After what can be a traumatizing hospital stay, most
families assume being at home will help in the recovery. While many times this
is true, it can be very scary; the ups and down of weight gain, creating proper
sleep schedules or just plain finding your way without hospital staff to guide
you.
All of these things are incredibly emotionally
exhausting. As heart parents we make a choice to fight, fight with every ounce
of our being. We go without sleep, miss meals and sometimes even forget what
day it is. However, I promise you each day we find Happiness.
For us Happiness was the surgeon reporting the surgery
went better than expected, the first time Madelynn smiled eight days after surgery,
and a year after physical therapy Madelynn was walking and entering elementary
school to register Madelynn for kindergarten.
This experience could have ruined my family in so many
ways. But we made a choice and that choice was Happiness. We chose to find Joy
in even our worst days. Hoping you find Happiness and you make it your choice.
Happy Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day!!
TTFN~
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Guest Blogging......
A few weeks ago I was contacted by another heart mom who has a blog. She wondered if I minded having Madelynn's story posted. She decided to collect other's stories and post them on her blog for Congenital Heart Defect Awareness week. Yesterday Madelynn was the highlighted story. Click here to see it.
Kuddos to Stephanie for such a HUGE undertaking. Thank you for finding creative ways to spread CHD Awareness this week. I didn't plan on re-posting Madelynn's story on my own blog since Stephanie was highlighting Madelynn. Thank you for allowing Madelynn and I to invade your blog.
HAPPY CHD WEEK!!!
TTFN~
Kuddos to Stephanie for such a HUGE undertaking. Thank you for finding creative ways to spread CHD Awareness this week. I didn't plan on re-posting Madelynn's story on my own blog since Stephanie was highlighting Madelynn. Thank you for allowing Madelynn and I to invade your blog.
HAPPY CHD WEEK!!!
TTFN~
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