Matriarch

Matriarch - A highly respected women who is a mother.

Last week I headed to a funeral home to pay my respects to a woman who lived and breathed the true definition of a matriarch. She was a mother of four and grandmother of 11(I think).

When I pulled into the parking lot I was amazed the only place to park was patches of grass on the side. I was greeted by her husband and he had a smile on his face. Then it was like I suddenly fell into a time warp, slide show and photos everywhere. You literally watched her children and grandchildren grow up in photos; her whole life right there in front off you.

As I talked to friends and family, she had spent her last days suffering and was ready to meet the Lord at the front gate. Before she went she spent time planning her funeral. She wanted everything to be just right. She didn't wanted those that loved and knew her to be grieving she was gone; she wanted them celebrating how she lived. She and her eldest son shared the joy of music. The next day he would be singing a final farewell to his mother. Just the thought of every ounce of love that will pour out of that song makes me cry.

The woman and her husband were married 52 years. Thinking about the more than half a century she ran the house, reared the children and stood by her husband in every hill and valley they travelled, how do you go on. To be together that long is one of the truest forms of respect. I know that a part of him died that faithful day with her.

A long time family friend told me that the the son she shared the joy of music with, could not get it right with his father. They seemed to argue and not connect on so many levels. As she fought her battle to live with an ugly disease, the father and son finally made their way back to each other. Even in her death she found a way to bring them together. So much so the father walks into the family business, the son helps run, and says (no matter who is around), "Good Morning Son, I love you." It took an amazing woman to remind her strong willed, set in his ways husband no matter what tell your children you love them.

When I left the funeral home, I was just shaking my head. As a mother of three, one day I will be that person. To hold this position in a family are pretty big shoes to fill and not everyone is cut out for it and can do it well. Will my husband think as highly of me as this husband thought of his wife? Will my children trust and respect me, the way this family did? When my family celebrates my life will they really celebrate it or just be glad I am gone?

The whole evening just made me think about my life and what I want my children to learn and take away from it. What things do I want them to carry with them to their children. Sometimes we get so buried in day to day life we forget all the little things we do make a difference. The things we think are irrelevant will be the one silly little fact our child remembers.

To all the mother's out there, one day you will hold this highest position. It won't matter the position you hold if you don't earn it along the way. Thank you Mrs. Anne for the reminder that every minute of every hour of everyday we are striving to teach our children the very best in life is what we make of it as we live it.

TTFN~